Running from the past
by LaCarlotta
Summary: While on the run, Bucky begins to frequent the Smithsonian museum in a desperate bid to connect with his past and learn more about who he truly is. On one visit he meets Brogan who like him, has a troubled past that she is desperate to escape from. Fate has seemingly bought them together but will Bucky ever be truly free from "The Winter Soldier"? (Bucky\OC) (elements of WS/CW)
1. Chapter 1

" _ **Alex...please don't do this… you're drunk...please I'm begging you not now"**_

 _ **"SHUT THE HELL UP BROGAN. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME…You brought this on yourself... You make me do this to you... You belong to me remember and I need to make you understand what happens when you don't do as your told"**_

 _ **"But...but James is probably still awake…just go and sleep it off…please Alex, the bruises from last time have still not faded. I'm begging you...you don't want to do this...please…please don't hurt me. I wont disobey you again I promise but don't hurt me"**_

 _ **"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO…? NEVER TELL ME WHAT TO DO..."**_

 _ **"PLEASE…PLEASE STOP…NOOOOO…**_ "

"It doesn't look too bad does it? " 28 year old Brogan Markson thought to herself. She gazed solemnly at her reflection in her dressing table mirror and sighed at the pale broken figure looking back at her. Although she was only 28 this wasn't the face of someone that age looking back at her. Her eyes were swollen from her tears and she had so many bags underneath, that her face had indeed aged her so drastically beyond her youth. Staring deeper at her reflection she ran a trembling hand through the long wavy locks of her hair "its only small…bit of cover up and I can get away with it…as usual" she sighed reaching up at the small cut on her lip as it started to bleed again "it was my fault…I made him do it...just as always"

Fumbling through a nearby drawer by her bed, Brogan managed to dab some wet cotton wool onto her now painfully swollen lip. She winced as a shot of pain hit her hard and clenched her teeth, pressing the pad onto the open wound. As she lent forward on the dressing table, her gaze fell to the drops of her own blood staring back at her on the pad. Staring intently, the young mum began to sob even more harder now going over and over in her mind at how her life had turned out like this. Nothing could describe how much pain she was in right now. At the start of her relationship with Alex Harry, everything was perfect. He doted on her, treating her like a princess and making her feel so special. The pair had indeed been a couple for a long time now having met when they were members of the local theatre group in the small town in which they both lived. Alex was part of the backstage crew while Brogan was cast in several leading roles of many shows the group staged at the local theatre. Her beautiful and angelic soprano voice made her perfect for any role. Brogan was a key part of the theatre group for several years but it was during this time that a lot of her troubles started. Alex soon developed a dangerous alcohol problem and was promptly fired by the producers of the theatre company. He took this rejection bitterly and began taking it out on his young girlfriend, developing a vicious violent temper and blaming her fully for everything that had gone wrong in his own life. Tonight's row had been over the fact that Brogan had failed to pick up Alex's shirts from the dry cleaners that he needed for a prospective job interview the following day. When she broke the news to Alex over dinner, he was livid. Dragging her by the hair to the bedroom in a fit of rage, he slapped her with such a force that she came crashing down hard on a chair and ended up splitting her lip in the process. Cowering on the floor, she curled up in a ball as he stamped on her back and aimed several hard kicks in her ribs, leaving her gasping for air…

When he first attacked her, several years ago now, he was remorseful and constantly begged for Brogan's forgiveness as she cowered in fear. Yet now terrified of being alone, believing that she was no good for anyone else, Brogan found she just wasn't strong physically and mentally to stand up to her abusive boyfriend. Constantly, she believed he would change and things would be different but things never did. She soon found herself totally giving up on life altogether and just took every excuse possible for the intense beatings he inflicted on her, often believing it was her fault and all down to her that he beat her so viciously. Over the years Alex also became very controlling with Brogan. He took a great pride in making her feel isolated and having nobody to turn to, depending on him only for everything. He constantly put her down, taking pride in making her feel as if she was worthless and good for nobody else in the world but him…

The only glimmer of hope and salvation in her life at present were her precious 4 year old Son James, whom she doted on with all her heart. Her little boy was the only light in the current darkness of her life. Her mind cast back at how she cowered on the floor during tonight's assault, terrified and begging, pleading for her life against her violent abusive boyfriend as her beloved little boy slept soundly in the room next door. What Brogan didn't know was that young James had witnessed his father brutally attacking his mother tonight and it hadn't been for the first time either. The youngster had wept onto the doorframe, frozen in fear watching as his Father hit Brogan with a vicious slap across the face…again and again... The little boy stood terrified, scared watching his beloved mother being kicked hard in the ribs by the one man who had brought her into this world and given him life. Noticing that his son was watching, Alex with hate in his eyes, quickly glared at the boy. The youngster's eyes fell down to her mother curled up on the floor coughing hard and struggling to breathe as she tried desperately to get to her feet, pulling herself up on a small chair at the side of the room. Alex bellowed at the little boy and even more terrified now James quickly grabbed his teddy, raced back into his room. The little mite burst into tears, placing his hands tight over his ears in a desperate bid to block out Brogan's screams that echoed from along the hall…

Thanks to make up Brogan managed to conceal the black eyes and bruises. Yet Brogan, blinded by the manipulation of the father of her little boy took him back forgiving him again and again. Believing that he could change and knowing things would be different but things never did. And here she was once again dealing with the aftermath of yet another drunken rage from her abusive boyfriend. Wiping her eye with a sleeve, she caught sight of a photograph of her beloved Son at a few hours old on her dressing table. Brogan was beaming at the tiny little bundle wrapped in a blanket that had been placed on her chest. From the moment he was born, she never thought she could love something as much as she did her son. Her little one was her life but deep down she knew that this was no environment for any child to be bought up in. With a mother too terrified, too weak to fight back against an alcoholic wife beater for a father. Not exactly the perfect start to his young life. Little James deserved a real loving father, something the little boy longed and dreamed about everyday in the 4 years he had been alive. Summoning up all her courage Brogan took a deep breath and planted a soft kiss on the picture

"I can do this...I have to do this" she whispered, quickly stuffing some clothes in a bag. She crept back along the landing and peeked down through the banisters of the staircase, seeing that Alex had passed out on the sofa surrounded by beer cans "My baby needs me to do this…you cant put James through this anymore"

It was pretty much obvious that Alex was well out of it and Brogan knew that this was her one and only chance of making a break for it. Creeping back down the hall to James's room, she gently pushed open the door. Inside, she knelt beside the sleeping youngster and gently nudged at his shoulder. The youngster slowly began to stir before stretching his arms in the air

"James? James baby..." she whispered softly, "Baby…we need to go…come on sweetie"

"Where we going Mummy?" yawned a sleepy James, rubbing his eyes "is daddy coming...Can I take my bear with me Mummy?"

"Of course you can my Darling…No James, It's just you and me baby...we are going on an adventure...sounds awesome right?" she gently kissed the top of his head as the little boy nodded excitedly in agreement "and this is how it's going to be from now on...I promise you sweetie that you're the only one I need in my life right now…its me and you against the world…now lets go and don't wake Daddy ok"

Brogan quickly grabbed the overnight bag and slipped out into the night, bundling little James into awaiting car outside. From this moment on this was going to be the fresh start brogan craved and needed in her life. She had her baby boy by her side and it was going to be the pair of them against the world


	2. Chapter 2

Tipping his cap over his face, the winter soldier let out a deep sigh as he stared up at the steps of the marble entrance of famous "Smithsonian" museum. This was becoming a ritual for him now with this being his umpteenth visit in the past several days. Ever since his fight with Captain America, something had awoken inside him and now he was desperate to know who he truly was and find out more about his past. The only thing he knew about himself at present was that he was a winter soldier. Then he fort the famous captain America and this changed everything. That moment during the fight when Cap called him his Friend and told him that he would "be with him till the end of the line" had awoken something and he was more desperate than ever to know who he truly was. Even now he still didn't know why he pulled him from the river after their fight that day. For him it just felt like the right thing to do. His head was telling him "he is your mission. Kill him" but his heart was preventing him from finishing him off. Something was telling him that he had a deep connection to the captain but he needed to find out more. He also hoped that once he found out more about his past, the nightmares that had plagued him for the past several months would finally cease. Night after night, he'd wake up in a cold sweat as images of the pain and torture he suffered at the hands of HYDRA continued to plague his dreams. The dreams were becoming more frequent now since he'd gone on the run. This just made him even more determined to find out more about who he truly was and hopefully put things right for all that he had done since he'd become the feared winter soldier. Taking a deep breath, he made his way through the crowded hall and gazed up at the display dedicated solely to him. His mind cast back to that first moment he saw his picture and the name "Sgt James Buchanan Barnes" on display. The relief that swelled inside when he found out he had a name was overwhelming. At least he knew that now and it was a good start for unlocking more clues from his past. He even had a nickname that he seemed to mainly go by. "Bucky". From that moment, this was the name he wanted to be known as and not the winter soldier. He had an new identity now, one that wasn't purely symbolised with killing as his winter soldier persona had forced on him.

His gaze soon fell at the grainy footage of him and Steve Rogers from the war. This was why he had loved coming here over the past few weeks. It had given him the chance to find out more about himself and this connection to the great captain. Coming to this wing had given him a great sense of comfort. Little did he know that this particular trip to the museum would change his life forever...

Three months had now passed since Brogan had built up the courage to grab her young Son and start a new life away from her violent ex's clutches. Things were truly starting to look brighter for the young mum. Those dark clouds that has followed her for years finally starting to lift. She had got a job at a local coffee house and had even had enough money to rent a small apartment for her and James. OK it wasn't the nicest apartment in the world but all she needed was her young son by her side and together they found face whatever trials and tribulations life threw at them together.

Today was a special day as it was young James's birthday. His current obsession was with the famous Captain America and taking a special visit to the Smithsonian seemed the perfect way to celebrate the youngsters special day. Literally all that the boy had gone on about all week was taking a visit to the special wing dedicated to his hero. The wing also had a special place in Brogan's heart as her father "Peter Markson" was one of the driving forces in setting it up. His own father "Henry" was also one of the team that helped turn Steve Rogers into captain America and was a key ally of the great Howard Stark. Sadly, Brogan's father died before the full completion of the wing but Brogan was happy knowing that she could show her son aspects of his family history.

"Mummy, can we go see Captain America now?" pleaded young James Markson, tugging at his mothers leg "you promised me mummy...it is my birthday after all"

"like I'm going to forget its your birthday James" smiled Brogan, kissing his head and ruffling his hair "I told you that I needed to talk to Mr Anderson about some work that Grandad done and then we will go look at the Captain America wing I promise. I'll even show you a picture of your Great Grandfather. Remember what I told you about him Darling? He helped make create captain America" the boy nodded furiously in excitement "ah there's Mr Anderson. Let's go James"

"ah Miss Markson such a pleasure to meet you" the small man with round spectacles reached forward and shook her hand furiously "may I just say a big thank you to your father for all his help in making the Captain America wing what it is today. It is our most popular exhibit and we have your father to thank"

"thank you Mr Anderson, my dad just wanted to share how much the creation of Captain America meant to my family. He would be proud of what you have done and I must thank you for including my Grandfather in it too. Dad would be overjoyed.." she smiled "I know that both my father and grandfather live on in your amazing museum. That alone makes me so proud."

"have you been to check out the wing yet my dear? We have added plenty of pictures of your Grandfather and Howard stark. May I say you can defiantly see the family resemblance between yourself and your grandfather"

"James is desperate to see it so we was just heading over now" she smiled warmly. Brogan turned to where her boy had just been standing. She could feel the blood drain instantly from her face as James was nowhere to be seen "will you excuse me please Mr Anderson"

Quickly, she scanned the crowd but the youngster had seemingly vanished into thin air and was nowhere to be seen. Numerous thoughts soon entered her head with Alex snatching the boy top. He couldn't have tracked her down now could he? She'd done all she could over the past few months to hide and keep the pair of them safe. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest now as She pulled out her phone, desperately showing pictures of the boy to anyone and everyone she passed. Each person shook their head and Brogan's heart sank further into her chest. Soon it became too much for the young mum and she promptly burst into tears

"James?...James baby? Where are you? Come back my Darling...please?"

With his trips to the museum becoming more frequent over the past couple of weeks, Bucky Barnes was becoming even more paranoid than ever about getting recognised. Yet still couldn't stop his frequent visits to the museum. Even when he walked in earlier in the day, he could feel instantly the numerous security guards watching his every move as they followed him taking in the exhibits. It wasnt long before he sensed that he was being watched. Bucky could see one of the guards use their radio on the first floor and another looking over at him from across the hall. he knew instantly he had to get the hell out of there. Pushing his way through the busy crowd he caused several people to fall to the floor as he desperately tried to escape and flee. As he fled, he failed to notice that he'd actually ran straight into a young woman who was walking close by. His super strength completely floored the woman and she hit the floor with a devastating force. The impact was hard and her head literally bounced off the concrete below, almost knocking her out cold

"Hey asshole...how bout looking where you're going?" cried the woman rubbing her head. Her eyes were closed and head hurt as she desperately tried to get to her feet "I don't think a concussion will help me find my missing son. But thanks for that"

"sorry...I...panicked" cried Bucky, pulling his cap further over his face hoping she wouldn't recognize him or see his face "sorry again Ma'am .."

"can you at least help me up?" sighed Brogan staring up at the ceiling still clutching her head in pain "you must be the size of a tank the way you knocked me off my feet like that" she laughed nervously "my head is killing me..."

Slowly, Brogan could feel a hand within her own. Taking a deep breath she supported herself and used the stranger to get to her feet. Quickly she brushed herself down and finally caught sight of the man who had ran into her and literally knocked the wind out of her sails in the process. Brogans eyes widened when she finally met that of the mysterious stranger. He still couldn't look at her but when he sensed her stares, he slowly lifted his head and nervously met her gaze, tipping his cap. Never had she seen someone as deeply attractive as the man standing in front of her right now. The black t-shirt he wore clung tight to his chest, showing off his rippling muscles and he wore a black leather jacket. Curiosity soon got the better as she gazed at him, noticing instantly the pain and sadness etched in his dark hollow eyes

"why is she looking at me like that?" thought Bucky to himself, nervously "she's beautiful and I'm nothing. Does she recognise me!?...I have to get out of here"

Now it was Bucky's turn to stare. There was just something about this woman that he just couldn't take his gaze from. She truly was beautiful, a natural beauty, pretty much a true English rose. She had long brown wavy hair that fell over her shoulder in a loose plait and a warm smile that lit up her entire face. Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of light green that he had ever seen and glistened in the lights of above in the museum

"im sorry about your head ma'am" said Bucky softly, once again fidgeting awkwardly to the spot "what did you mean about a missing son?"

"oh yes, we were visiting and he's ran off. I turned my back and now he's gone.. I was on my way to the captain America wing to see if he'd gone there when you knocked me over"

"sorry about that again Ma'am" he looked away guiltily and felt even worse as he noticed her ear was bleeding "you think he went there? Why!?"

"well several reasons really" laughed Brogan, dabbing her ear with a tissue "Hes obsessed with Captain America at the moment. We had every toy going at home" she smiled turning to face him "Plus my dad helped fund the wing dedicated to him here, also my grandfather was on the team that helped create Captain America into what he is today. So you see that this museum is the only link to my family that I have now. That's why I bought my baby here today but now he's gone" her bottom lip began to tremble as she desperately tried to hold back the tears "im sorry for going on like this..."

"Listen, why don't you stay here and I'll go have a look at the the wing for you" smiled Bucky, placing a hand on her shoulder "I injured you Maam so helping you find your boy is the least I can do"

"are you sure?" Sobbed Brogan, wiping her tears with her sleeve "thank you...here's what he looks like and my names Brogan by the way" she cried forcing out a smile before handing him a photo of her treasured son from her purse "you're making me sound like 100 keep calling me Ma'am like that"

"ok Brogan...that better?" he smiled "he looks like you" Bucky's eyes fell at the photo. Just like his mother, the youngster had Inherited those green sparkling eyes and warm smile "what's his name?"

"James...James Markson"

"James? Great name " he thought silently to himself "don't worry ma'am...I mean Brogan... I'll find him I promise "

By the time Bucky arrived at the Captain America wing it was just preparing to close for the evening. The wing was deserted and all you could hear was the voice over guy from one of the exhibits talking about the grand heroic adventures of Captain America and his team during the war. Seeing the room deserted, he let out a deep sigh at the failure to find the boy and began to wonder how he would break the news to his mother. He was about to leave when he heard what sounded like a whimper coming from a table near a display at the far side of the wing. He stood confused listening for several minutes trying to work out where this odd noise was coming from. It sounded like someone was crying, but not an adult more like a small child or toddler. Peering slowly round the table he gasped when indeed he could see a little boy of no more than about 3 or 4 years of age. The Boy had his knees pressed to his chest and was wrapped tight. He recognised the boy instantly from the photo that Brogan had given him

"Hey champ...you OK buddy?" He sat next to him knowing that he couldn't leave such a young child all alone like this "is your name James?...that's..that's...that's my name too" he sighed sadly as this was the first time in years he'd acknowledged himself by his real name "your Moms looking for you Buddy "

The boy said nothing and continued to cry barely raising his head to look in Bucky's direction. The youngster's eyes were all puffy, red and swollen as the tears continued to flow. But slowly he turned to look at man

"Yes my name is James" He slowly wiped his eyes with his sleeve and forced out a smile to the man beside him as they both sat on the floor "I want my mummy…I only wanted to see pictures of Grandad...I want my mummy…where's my mummy? .am I in trouble?"

"No your mom was just worried about you" he smiled softly at the still upset youngster "I'll take you too her..." He slowly raised one of his hands out to the tearful youngster. James stared at the man but as he looked into his heart, he knew he could trust him "lets go buddy"

Ten minutes later and Bucky returned to where be had left Brogan. Within seconds, brogan could see the pair and quickly raced over to join them. Not knowing what she was doing, she soon threw herself at Bucky in relief. Hurling her arms around his neck and pulling him in close. With this being his first contact with a woman in years, Bucky froze and instantly became tense as the relived woman pressed herself against him. His heart was almost bursting out of his chest as it beat furiously at being this close to her

"Oh my god, you found him...thank you thank you thank you "sobbed Brogan again "I can't thank you enough...I'm going to keep a firm eye on this one from now on I promise you"

"I'm sorry Mummy... I just wanted to the pictures of Grandad that's all but when I couldn't see you" James sighed, gazing at the floor "I was scared..."

"that's OK my darling I'm just so glad that Mr...found you" Brogan suddenly felt her blush rise as she turned to Bucky. She nervously wrapped a loose lock of her hair round her finger, a habit that had stated with her since childhood "what must you think of me...I told you my name but I never asked you yours ..I'm so sorry"

"its Bucky...my name is Bucky" for him it felt secretly good referring himself by name again "just Bucky... that will do"

"Well then just Bucky... Thank you so much for bringing my baby back" she smiled before edging closer, literally pressing herself against him for the second time. She reached up and cupped his cheek before stroking his stubble gently with her fingertips. Slowly she moved forward and planted a soft delicate kiss on his cheek. Just as before Bucky froze "you're my hero Bucky. See you around"

Taking James by the hand the pair headed for the exit. Leaving the dazed winter soldier alone with his thoughts, as he watched them go until they vanished. Letting out a sigh, he took off one of his gloves. His metallic hand now unveiled. Reaching up he touched his cheek that had met with her lips only moments earlier

"goodbye Brogan..."


	3. Chapter 3

Several days had now passed since Bucky had made his last visit to the museum and had come across a certain beautiful single mother desperately searching for her missing child. It may of been several days since that meeting but Brogan had been in his thoughts on a daily basis now. He may not have remembered much of his own life at present but that moment she hurled herself round his neck and pressed herself up against him had constantly replayed over and over these past few days. In a desperate bid to get himself together, he decided to focus more on staying off the grid and this new life on the run. This life was quickly becoming second nature to him now. His usual routine was to just live off the streets the best he could, staying in one place for a week or so before moving on before any suspicions would arise. This had been his life for the past several months. He'd slept in shop doorways, crashed on park benches and even broke into a local train station when it had closed for the night. His main priority was stay hidden but ever since that meeting at the Smithsonian, he began to wonder if those priorities needed to be rethought...what had she done to him?

With The sun now slowly beginning to set, Bucky knew he needed to find a place to stay for the night. Pulling his cap over his face, he walked the busy streets of what was without a doubt the roughest part of town. He continued to walk, brushing past the usual batch of prostitutes touting for trade and past the noisy bar blaring music as several people fort with billiard cues spilling out on the sidewalk in front of him. Panicking, he quickened his pace not looking back at the several police cars speeding up to the violent scene. Quickly he ran to a damp alley nearby, praying nobody had seen him and continued to watch from afar as everyone involved in the drunken brawl were quickly bundled away in the awaiting police cars.. With the police now gone and the scene quiet once more, Bucky finally breathed a huge sigh of relief and emerged from his hiding place. He dusted himself down and saw that he was standing opposite the entrance to an old run down apartment block. Outside, several homeless people were trying to keep warm around a barrel of burning newspapers and an old man was pushing a rusty old shopping trolley filled with beer cans before shouting at some people walking close by. Bucky edged closer and caught a neon sign flickering "vacancies " every couple of seconds before plunging into darkness above the entrance. Slowly he crossed the road, ignoring the calls from the homeless people and entered the door. Inside it was just as damp, rundown and dilapidated as it was from the front. There was a distinct aroma of damp and decay in the dreary cold hallways. His eyes scanned over at a door marked "Office" and its equally depressing interior. There at a desk, sat a short old man with a grey Beard swigging a beer and puffing on a huge cigar. he was watching a local football game on a tiny black and White portable TV but eventually turned when he saw Bucky...

"I need a room.."

The man said nothing, emerged from his office and stood directly of Bucky. The man scanned him up a down for several seconds, causing the anxiety to build in the nervous winter soldier once more.

"Like I said... I need a room...have you got anything?"

"you got money?...I mean real money" asked the man. Bucky pulled his cap over his face and nodded "then I got room...here...take number 313...you pay me good so I give you best room" he cried handing him a key "lift no work...you take stairs...3rd floor "get out of here...I watching big game... You no disturb"

Paying the man, he took the key and headed along the hall to the main staircase of the dank apartment block. Several people brushed past him, this alone caused his anxiety levels soon reaching his peak. He took several deep calming breaths before pulling down his cap the best he could to cover his face. He passed one door and could hear several children crying before being drowned out by an obvious row of the couple inside. He passed another door and could feel the floor shudder as the bass from a house party shook the walls around him. Quickening his pace he was soon on the 3rd floor and noticed that there was only 2 apartments. Slightly relieved at the quietness that met him compared to the other rooms he passed on his way up.

Turning the key, you could instantly see the apartment was as basic as you'd expect. The bedroom was at the far end of the room and straight away you could smell the dampness from the walls. There was a small couch in a tiny living room area that was littered with cigarette burns and dust. Even the kitchen looked like it hadn't been clean in months. Yet for Bucky this was fine, give it a week and he'd probably have moved on anyhow. This was just a pit stop for him, somewhere better than the shop doorways or park benches that he'd grown accustom too since going on the run. Taking a deep breath, he found a small window and managed to jimmy it open using his metallic hand . Instantly fresh air spread through the apartment and thankfully managed to blot out the smell of so many years of grime and decay. Checking out his new surroundings was another part of Bucky's routine. Whenever he was somewhere new, his training always kicked in as he searched for quick escape routes and any ways that he could call upon if he ever needed a speedy exit. Looking out the window, he saw that he was by the fire escape for the two apartments on this floor. There was a metallic walkway joining both flats and then more metallic steps leading down the side of the building. He nodded silently to himself, feeling reassured that if it ever came to it he had a way-out and could continue this life on the run..

He was just about to close the window when he turned his head and spotted some more of the metallic steps. These ones were at the end of the walkway and were seemingly going up to the roof. Deep down he was pleased he had another escape route out but his curiosity was soon getting the better of him. What on earth was up there? The metallic steps shuddered under his weight, as he quickly sped up and before long found himself at the top of the building. There wasn't anything of ordinary up here to be honest. It was your everyday roof terrace. Crates and benches were strewn over the area and several bottles of beer has been discarded. Sitting on a box, he spotted that some of the beers were unopened. Quickly he managed to remove the top and took a full swig before looking up at the huge sight of the moon that was beaming brightly above his head. Even the town below was a deathly silent now. Very different from the violent drunken scenes he'd witnessed earlier in the evening. Reaching for another beer, Bucky's senses were suddenly bought in overdrive. Listening intently he could hear someone else walking on the fire escape. The metal began to chink furiously almost as if someone was running.. Panicking, he threw the beer over the wall and his behind a box. Anxiety levels rising even further now as he prayed nobody had seem him. Listening intently he could indeed hear two people talking...

"Its OK Darling boy..." soothed the woman gently "you just go back to sleep when your ready OK...mummy's here darling... Mummy is always here...that I promise you"

"oh mummy, it was horrible... Daddy was hurting you and there was nothing I could do" from his hiding place, Bucky's eyes widened. That boys voice, he knew it "im scared..."

"it was just a dream Darling... Daddy has gone remember?" the woman reassured "just you and me now...I'm with you till the end of the line James... "

At her last sentence, Bucky's heart suddenly began to beat furiously in his chest. He lost his footing but quickly managed to grab at the wall to steady himself. Unfortunately managing to knock over of huge pile of crates that had been stored up-close by in the process. Brogan's own instincts quickly kicked in within seconds after the crash. She grabbed her son and pulled him close, wrapping her arms reassuringly tight around the trembling youngster as he clung to her waist. Softly stroking his hair

"hello...is someone there?!" slowly she kept that tight grip on her son and backed up towards the steps and the safety of her own apartment "hello..?"

"its Daddy isn't it?" sobbed the boy, still trembling "daddy found us...its just like my dream mummy...he's going to get us... Go away Daddy... Leave us alone" the youngster pleaded with innocence in his words "don't hurt my mummy again"

"its OK Darling" her head was telling her it was probably just a fox or something but deep down she couldn't help but listen to that little voice taunting her that it was indeed her violent ex "Alex, if this is you...you have got about 30 seconds till I scream so loud that this entire fucking city will hear me...im never going go let you hurt me again" she thought silently to herself "Everything's going to be fine James..." she began to pant hard but soon began feel dizzy as she desperately tried to stay calm for her child's sake "listen to mummy..."

Slowly, Bucky emerged from his hiding place. His black hoodie and cap almost covering his face entirely as he stared blankly at the floor. Brogan watched the mysterious figure but was more confused than ever right now. She breathed sigh of relief when she realised it wasn't Alex but someone else. But who?. She watched the stranger, as the man removed his cap and pulled back his hood. He was still looking at the floor but slowly he raised his head to look at her and catch her gaze. Gasping in surprise, she buried her hands over her mouth...

"You?...from the museum." she cried, still unable to take it all in. Eventually, a warm smile filled her face as her eyes glistened in the moon above their heads "Bucky?."

"hope I didn't scare you..." he whispered, nervously running his metallic hand through the long dark locks of his hair "sorry..."

"that's OK,we come up here sometimes just for some fresh air" she said, nervously playing with a lock of her hair "it's great to see you again by the way Bucky...I still cant thank you enough for all you did that day" replied Brogan almost blushing "I guess that not only you my hero for bringing back my son. but I totally take my hat off to you even more now for putting up with the same taste of shitty apartments like me..." she smiled up at him "look, I just made some hot chocolate... Would you like some? It helps James to sleep "

"Um...maybe I should just leave you both to it" cried Bucky nervously getting to his feet "id only get in the way..."

"but I've got marshmallows" grinned Brogan "surely that is enough to tempt you...please?" there was a deep sense of pleading in her words as she spoke

"OK...go on then..."


	4. Chapter 4

Pulling up a couple of crates, Brogan smiled before handing Bucky his drink and sat next to him. Taking a sip nervously she looked over at James in the distance, who was currently busy creating his own mini obstacle course out of more of the boxes and crates of various sizes that had been discarded close by. She blushed furiously, after finally catching Bucky's gaze

"can I ask you something?..." he whispered, placing his cup on the floor and turning to face her "why was James so scared earlier? He said something about his Dad" Brogan's smile soon dropped and Bucky knew he'd touched a raw nerve with the young mum "Im sorry... I shouldn't have said anything...forgive me"

"its ok...well his father wasnt nice person. He drank a lot and.…" She looked sadly at the floor, biting her lip as she desperately tried to hold back her tears "he….he beat me...all the time actually" raising her skirt about her knee his eyes instantly caught sight of a huge purple bruise covering her thigh "it went on for years...I was so scared of him but after one beating, I knew I couldn't put up with what he was doing to me anymore... I couldn't put James through this no longer and needed to get away" she pushed up her sleeve of her blouse as she wiped her tears and again revealed even more bruises that were only just starting to fade "that was no environment for a child to grow up in" she sobbed, unable to hold it in no longer "James has been through so much and I knew I couldn't put him through it anymore...he's seen stuff Bucky that no four year old should EVER witness"

Taking a deep breath, Bucky listened intently as she told him all about the constant beatings she had received from Alex for a majority of the time they were together. Although she didn't really know him, it just felt so natural and easy to talk to Bucky about everything she'd been through. Hanging onto her every word of her traumatically tale, He sat stunned as she told him all about one particular time Alex even attacked her when she was 7months pregnant with James. At how she had cowered on the floor, clasping her hands over her unborn child desperately trying to protect him from the blows of his violent and abusive father. The beating in fact bought on Brogan's contractions 2 months early and left James fighting for his life in a premature baby unit at the local hospital near where the couple lived. From that day forth, Brogan saw her little boy as her treasured miracle and a gift from God above. The veins in Bucky's neck soon began to pulsate furiously as she continued her tale…

"Son of a bitch" his face was even more red and full of rage at her story. Yet this wasn't a story, this was real life and Brogan had the scars to prove it "I saw those marks on your wrist...was that from him too?"

"Yeah, he stamped on it and it ended up broken in four places…I still get pain from time to time" a sole tear fell slowly down her cheek as she looked over at her son giggling as he jumped off the crates, just in front of the pair of them "at the hospital he used the classic… oh she wasnt looking where she was going and she fell down the stairs line"

"And they believed him?"

"Yeah, I was too scared to say anything and didn't speak the entire time I was getting checked over" she forced out a smile but you could see it was full of pain and sadness. Deep with hurt "of course he acted the kind protective boyfriend... I just wish I'd plucked up the courage to flee him sooner but I couldn't...I wasn't strong enough" sobbed Brogan, gazing over at her beloved child still at play "he could do whatever to me but if he hurt my baby…I don't know what I would have done...he's is my life now Bucky. He's all I have in the world… and to think I could have lost him when he was born and it was all down to his own father"

Seeing how upset she was, Bucky pulled the crate closer and reached for her hand. It trembled slightly but once he squeezed it reassuringly the trembles soon ceased within. It truly broke him hearing her tale and learning that little James had regular nightmares at the intense violence had seen inflicted on his mother. Night after night the little boy woke up terrified and screaming for her. Those same horrific images of his mothers death at the hands of his father replaying over and over in his head...haunting his dreams.. Something indeed Bucky could relate to

"he's a great kid and you should be proud..."

"I am...and thank you"

Thanks to HYDRA, Bucky been programmed to remember every mission that he was sent on over the years while working as the feared winter soldier. Every kill and every death he'd had a hand in permanently stored in his mind. Image after image of the chaos and destruction he'd caused etched in his head for all eternity. All they had to do was ask him for a mission report, state the date and Bucky could recall every mission right down to the finest detail. Even now while on the run and not working for HYDRA anymore, those images were still there and haunting his dreams more than ever. After watching over James at play just now, One particular mission did indeed slowly begin to emerge in his mind. HYDRA had commanded him to kill the prime minister of a country that had been plotting their downfall for the past several years. Bucky, along with his team tracked down the minister at this home and burst through the windows as the house greeted them with silence. His team managed to dispatch the servants of the household with some intense machine gun fire, while the winter soldier searched for the remaining names on his present mission list. He'd been told that he must not leave any witnesses alive under any circumstances and kill the entire household. Yet when he saw that the ministers wife was heavily pregnant and that there was a young child sleeping in the next room, he couldn't do it. Taking a deep breath, he was quickly pulled aside by his team and asked why the hell he wasn't doing as programmed. Yet he didn't care, maybe there was some remnants of the former Sgt James Buchanan Barnes in his mind somewhere and that part of his former life was telling him it was the right thing to do in letting the family live...sadly it would be in vain as the team finished off the couple. Bucky watched as the bedroom was hit with even greater gunfire than the first and killed the couple instantly

Of course, HYDRA were furious at his failure and at how he jeopardised the mission for all involved. They had spent so much time and effort erasing every last aspect of his former personality from his mind and were livid that part of it was still there. He tried to explain his actions but they refused to listen and to even allow him speak. For them he wasn't a human being any more, he'd lost that right when they found him after his fall from the train all those years ago. They saved his life and for that he was permanently in their debt. He was their ultimate kill machine now and there was no way they was going to let him get away with another mission failure. Two men soon entered the room,chaining him to a chair by his wrists while another placed a iron guard in his mouth. Bucky began to panic now as he knew exactly was going go happen next. It was the same thing that had happened every time former aspects and memories of his former personality emerged. He closed his eyes and bit down hard on the mouth guard as the chair fell backwards. His head now locked tightly in some kind of machine, covering up his eyes in the process. His breathing quickly sped up as he waited for the inevitable. right on cue a button was pressed and electricity passed through the machine and went straight to his head. The pain was like no other and Bucky screamed in agony at the torture. His whole-body shook as he desperately tried to break his bonds.. He screamed out again, his piecing cries echoing around the room as everyone else did nothing. After several minutes, his screams turned a deathly silent as the electricity had done its job...his mind and current memories had been erased. The winter soldier was back and HYDRA had full control...

"Mummy...I'm ready to go to sleep now... " interrupted a yawing James from Bucky's thoughts "im tired..."

"looks like that's my cue to go..." Brogan finally let go of his hand and got to her feet "thanks for listening tonight.. It really helped talking to someone about it all again. Just hope I didn't bore you rigid...goodnight just Bucky" she smiled, placing James on her hip "see you around.."

"Never in a million years would someone like you bore me rigid trust me" he laughed, watching them leave "goodnight champ." He called out to a furiously waving James "Take care Brogan.."

Now alone, Bucky sat back on the crate still stunned in disbelief at her tale and everything that the little boy had been through. For him, brogan was without a doubt one of the most kind hearted persons he had come into contact with in a very long time. The fact that she didn't even flinch or seem repulsed as he took her tiny hand within his metallic one also just blew him away. Yet the very thought of someone using her as their own personal Punch bag made him sick to his stomach...very sick indeed


	5. Chapter 5

With James now sleeping soundly, Brogan curled up on the sofa and promptly fell asleep. Only to be woken up not long after by her mobile phone ringing. Yawning and noticing that it was in fact 3am, she raced over to the phone sitting on the table and held it to her ear…

"Hello….who is this?"

Letting out a sigh when nobody seemed to answer, she placed the phone back on the table and raced to turn off the TV that she had forgotten to mute after her earlier trip to the roof with Bucky. She was just about to turn it off and head back to bed when she instantly stopped in her tracks as the phone went off once again. Her heart thumped hard in her chest as she knew that this was too getting far too weird now. Slowly moving forward she hit the green button on the phone…

"Yes…who is this? Hello? Who's there?"

Whoever was on the other end didn't speak and Brogan could only hear a TV blaring in the background. Again she shouted down the phone but the mysterious person on the other end refused to respond to her calls. Now she was getting angry and slammed the phone down even harder this time, Almost shattering her screen in the process. There was only one person she knew it had to be and the very thought of him finally knowing where she was, filled her with a deep dread and made her feel sick. She was desperate to keep herself and James safely hidden but with Alex still out there she began to wonder if that day would ever happen and she would truly ever be free from his grasp. A solitary tear fell down her cheek as once again the phone went for the final time. Shaking her head and placing her hands over her ears to block out the ringing, she made her way back to the phone. Picking it up, she could still hear the same noises in the background as before…

"I know this is you…leave me alone Alex…"

Almost instantly, the person on the other end hung up leaving Brogan to only be able to hear the dialling tone. She fell at her knees in a mountain of sobs, taking this as proof that the one man she was terrified of had finally found her. Curling up into the foetal position on the floor, she was soon broken out of her trance like state by a child's scream echoing from down the hall. This had become such a ritual for her and James over the last few months now. The little boy had been so severely affected by Alex's violence on her that he suffered from regular nightmares bought on by what she had seen. Racing into her room, Brogan quickly scooped him in her arms and rested his head on her chest. Within minutes she could feel her shirt damp with his wet salty tears.

"MUMMY…MUMMY…GET UP MUMMY...DON'T BE DEAD…" came a scream "GET OFF HER DADDY. MUMMY…MUMMY…WAKE UP MUMMY...PLEASE"

His whole face was red as the tears were now fully streaming down his face. He was hysterical and his hair was damp with sweat at the terror filled nightmare that had just filled his thoughts. Immediately she climbed into the bed next to him and rested the boys head on her thigh. Stroking his hair softly, James began to relax slightly as he slowly began to wake up. The sense of relief overwhelming him as realised his beloved mother was alive and in his arms...

"Mummy…I thought you was dead" the boy whimpered, clinging onto her leg "Daddy hurt you and you wouldn't wake up when I tried…I was scared Mummy" he sobbed again "you cant leave me right?...I love you Mummy.."

"Shh…its ok Baby" said Brogan softly fighting back her own tears at the childlike innocence of his words "Mummy's here... Mummy's here…I'm never leaving you…its me and you against the world remember….daddy has gone sweetie" She reached over for his favourite teddy and placed it under his arm "now rest my darling boy…"

Softly she kissed the top of the youngsters head before singing a few bars of the one and only song that could only calm James down and help him drift back off to sleep after one of his nightmares. It was a song that Brogan regularly sang when he was in her womb and was even in the background of her room when she went into labour with him. "Not while I'm around" from the musical version of Sweeney Todd…With it's poignant and deeply personal lyrics it soon became the one song that symbolised her promise to James now that it was just the two of them

" _ **Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around"**_ she sang softly, in a voice no more than a whisper " _ **Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir not while I'm around"**_ she could instantly feel the little boy start to relax as being gentle as she could, managed to move his head back on the soft cushions of his pillow " _ **No-one's gonna hurt you, no-ones gonna dare. Others can desert you, not to worry whistle I'll be there"**_ Tears began to fall from her green eyes and dropped into her lap. She looked down at her sleeping son and gently kissed his forehead **_"Demons'll charm you with a smile for a while but in time….nothings gonna harm you not while I'm around…."_**

When she was fully confident the little boy was fast asleep again she found she couldn't hold in the tears no more. sobbing heavy….wondering how on earth her life could have turned out like this…

Owing to the very thin walls of the block and the fact he rarely slept anyhow, Bucky lay on his makeshift bed on the floor and began staring at the celling. He could hear every word that was going on in Brogans room just now. As he heard her angelic singing voice, even he could feel himself start to relax and the sleep finally start to take over. Letting out a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and instantly found the tension within him loosen up as he heard her sing.. Once again he lay there thinking about her. Deep down he was trying to be logical and started to get mad at himself for allowing her to get close to him. He was trying to fight it but as he heard that singing voice so reassuring over in the neighbouring room , he felt unable to stop this effect and feelings she was having on him.

After several minutes, the singing soon stopped and Bucky opened his eyes disappointed that she had finished, tensing up once again. He sighed in further disappointment once more but then soon heard what sounded like a window being opened. Closely followed by that familiar sound of someone walking along the metallic fire escape balcony that connected both their apartments. Sitting up immediately, Bucky grabbed a shirt and headed over to the window. He looked into the distance and there indeed sitting on the steps with her head in her hands was a sobbing Brogan

"Brogan? Are you OK?" his voice was nothing more than a whisper. Slowly she looked up at him. those eyes that had him bewitched from that first meeting glistened with wet salty tears "everything OK?"

"oh my goodness Bucky, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?" she immediately went a deep shade of red as he scooted on the step next to her "It was James...he was having one of his nightmares. I thought he'd be OK after we had some playtime up here but I was wrong...so sorry for waking you up...I'm so sorry...least you can see first-hand how its all effected him..."

"Don't apologize..." He smiled warmly, wrapping his metallic arm around her. Brogan edged closed and rest her head on his shoulder. Slightly overwhelmed with all tonight's events, she clung onto his T-shirt and promptly burst into tears "is he OK now?"

"he's sleeping finally but these nightmares are happening more frequent now" she sobbed, still clinging onto him "its all my fault Bucky...its all because of me that he's effected like this...Alex was right, everything bad that's happened is all down to me.."

"now just stop it..." he cried, placing a hand under her chin forcing her to look at him. The tears from those emerald eyes were slowly starting to cease and she tried desperately to force out a smile "none of whatever he did to you was your fault Brogan...its all down to that evil son of a bitch" slowly he reached forward and wiped away her glistening tears with his metallic thumb "im so sorry that someone as special as you suffered at his hand. I may not be sure of much in this world right now but I know that James is a great kid and a real credit to you" he smiled, gently stroking her cheek once more "and if I ever met this asshole today... he wouldn't stand a chance... Trust me"

Not know what he was doing, he reached forward then gently began to stroke her arm with the metallic tips of his fingers. Instantly tiny Goosebumps appeared on her arm, sending her body into overdrive at the sensation of the cold metal on her warm silky skin. Just as before, she didn't flinch at his touch...

"That's an amazing prosthetic by the way. Must of cost you a fortune." instantly, Bucky looked away and removed his arm from her, looking down ashamed at the floor "oh my god, I'm so sorry if I offended you..." continued Brogan with a nervous laugh "I didn't mean anything by it I promise..."

"its fine. And you're right bout it being impressive... but I hate it" he forced her a smile before awkwardly squirming on the step and gazing at the floor "its more than just my arm Brogan. Its a symbol of my former life" eventually he turned to face her and could see in her eyes how bad she felt bringing it up "like you I'm escaping my past but this arm is a constant reminder of what I've done and that I don't deserve to be free from it all.." gently she reached over for his shoulder "ill never be free of the past while this arm is part of me...no matter how hard I try"

"would it help if I said I actually noticed you before I saw your arm?" she grinned, placing her Hand on his his knee desperately trying to make light of an awkward moment "I have the bump on my head to prove it remember?" Much to her relief Bucky began to laugh "I get what you mean though and totally understand. We have a lot more in common than you think Bucky... Your link to the past is your arm and these are just a small portion of mine..."

Slightly confused, he watched her get to her feet and stand facing him. Much to his surprise, she lifted her nightshirt ever so slightly revealing several long and painfully looking slash scars over her rib cage. With his training, Bucky could tell instantly that someone had deliberately carved them into her skin, branding her for life in the process. Turning slightly, another 2 longer scars went up her sides and continued over her breasts. Each scar and wound looking more painful than the last

"HE did that to you?" cried Bucky, stunned beyond words "why?..."

"yes..." she nodded sadly. Now it was Brogans turn to squirm awkwardly "you have your arm and I have these. He knew Exactly what he was doing when he hurt me that day" Brogan continued "I threatened to leave so he dragged me into the kitchen before attacking me with a knife. He said that he wanted to make sure that any man I was with after him would be repulsed at my body and think I was freak" pulling back down her shirt she sat next to the still stunned Bucky "so I know what you mean when you talk about symbols of a past your trying to escape from...he's branded me and I'll never be free of him when I see these scars... Its just like your arm Bucky"

"I don't think you're a freak...far from it" said Bucky warmly "you are very special Brogan...not many people in this world can go through what you've been through and still be a decent Human being...I know that for a fact trust me" he cried, remembering more from his winter soldier missions "And I'm glad I met you .."

"me too Bucky...me too.." this time she reached for his metallic hand and took it within her own. His long fingers entwined with hers as she squeezed reassuringly. He smiled at the merger of skin with metal "my head might not of appreciated it at the time but I'm glad I met you Bucky" releasing his hand, she soon got to her feet "good night...


	6. Chapter 6

As the week progressed, Brogan and Bucky continued to grow closer and genuinely were starting to enjoy one another's company. They would often meet up throughout the day while James was at the local playgroup and all three of them spent the evenings just sitting talking up on the roof. Even James was starting to feel at ease around Bucky and was secretly loving his mothers growing friendship with their mysterious neighbour. For the first time in the 4 years of his young life, he was finally comfortable with a male being around her. He even loved it especially when Bucky joined in with his play up on the roof. Bucky even let the boy hold onto his arm during their games. James giggled innocently as Bucky spun him around so fast that the pair of them fell to the floor as the dizziness took over the pair. Sitting on the step, brogan watched on smiling at the two in each others arms, still giggling on the floor. Seeing how protective Bucky had become of the boy these past days had been something she dreamed of happening throughout her entire relationship with Alex. Much to Brogan's relief also, James hadn't had an anxiety nightmare in 3 days now. In her heart, Brogan knew a lot of this was all thanks to Bucky and this new positive effect he was having on her son...

"Morning Mummy...can I have coco pops" yawned stretching his arms over his head James, heading into the kitchen "are we going to see Bucky today?"

"Maybe later Darling. He might have things to do but we will see" she smiled, handing him the coco pops

"Bucky is the coolest person I've ever met...look I did this picture of him before I went to sleep last night" racing back to his room, the youngster emerged handing his mother a picture of 3 people in a child-like scrawl "that's you, that's me and that's Bucky...see I even got his arm right...there's his star"

"that's amazing baby" grinned Brogan at the three stick people on the paper "he will love this for sure.."

"Mummy...can I ask you a very important question?" the little boy spoke with such an innocence in his words "mummy do you like Bucky? Because I do. He's awesome"

"Well…umm…maybe…eh..I don't know" Blushed Brogan furiously, remembering every inch of his muscular toned body during the moments they'd spent together on the roof "well he is a very nice man darling but we will just have to wait and see…in the mean time, I was thinking how bout we go to the cinema tonight?. Pizza beforehand?...popcorn...candy? The works"

"Oh that sounds awesome" beamed the youngster "thank you mummy..."

True to her word, Brogan and James indeed ended up at the local cinema later that evening. They were just heading back to the apartment block when Brogan suddenly just couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. Several times she glanced behind her but there was nothing there. Yet still Brogan just couldn't escape the feeling deep in her gut that someone was there and watching her every move…

"Are you alright Mummy?" asked James, also looking behind at the empty street "you look scared"

"Its fine darling. Lets keep going" Quickening her pace, she took a tighter grip onto her youngster and didn't look back "lets just hurry home baby..."

Before she knew it though, a hand emerged from the shadows and grabbed her by the waist. Hurling her hard against the wall of a nearby alleyway as James fell to the floor. Before she could scream or make a sound, another hand was quickly clasped over her mouth

"Hello you" came a voice that was all too familiar "and you really thought you could hide from me?...you really are dumb Brogan..."

"No…Daddy...Daddy no" sobbed a terrified James, frozen in fear "please Daddy...don't hurt my mummy...not again "

Slowly, Brogan began to open her eyes and was met by the menacing grin of Alex glaring at her. Releasing the grip round her mouth Alex now placed his hand round her throat, leaving her now completely helpless and coughing furiously

"Alex. Please let me go. Look your scaring your Son?. Don't do this... Not in front of him please!" she began to cry now, pleading at her ex "how you find me? Who told you? Please you're hurting me" she could see James as white as a sheet now as the blood drained from his face in terror. Fear taking over "everything will be ok James...I need you to close your eyes OK? Everything will be OK...I promise" she reached out a hand to her terrified Son "Mummy's here…mummy's here baby"

"Don't you dare tell me I'm scarring my child? You bitch" he squeezed his grip slightly, causing her to cough, unable to breathe "HE FUCKING HATES ME THANKS TO YOU..."

With his free hand, Alex raised a clenched fist high above his head ready to come into contact with his former partners head. Brogan was struggling to breath, she closed her eyes with the tears now streaming down her face and waited for the impact. Within in instant Alex's fist came crashing down on her cheek, knocking her completely off her feet. She hit the floor hard and her mouth instantly filling with her own blood

"Noooooooo...Leave my Mummy alone...get off her.." sobbed James, the youngster ran at his father desperately hitting him on the leg in a bid to stop the onslaught "please stop Daddy. No Daddy…go away...leave us alone" Being his usual arrogant self, Alex just pushed the little boy to the floor and laughed "mummy…mummy...mummy. This is just like my dream"

Happy with that first punch, Alex stood gloating at his young Sons attempts at saving his mother. As she struggled to get to her feet, Simon soon aimed several more hard kicks to Brogan's ribs, back and shoulder leaving the young woman sobbing in agony. She could feel her eyes get heavy now as she realised she was slipping into unconsciousness. Desperately she tried to pull herself to her feet using the wall but again Alex grabbed her. She looked into his eyes and could see the intense hate and anger he had for her. Again, he slapped her hard…over and over. Even more blood soon filled her mouth as she realised her lip had split.

"Please…stop" she sobbed, begging and pleading for mercy "don't…no more…please" Her gaze fell over to James still Scared witless and frozen in fear "James…run…go….RUN..."

The youngster nodded furiously and ran away as if his life depended on it…he knew where he had to go and the only man could save his mother…

"BUCKY?…MR BUCKY?…oh where are you?" He sobbed pacing the streets in a daze still in shock "Bucky…I need you…please help me…please save my mummy?"

Back at the apartment block, Bucky looked down at his watch for what like felt like the millionth time as he waited for Brogan to arrive home. He knew the she was going to the movies with James at the 7pm showing but with it nearly hitting midnight, something must have happened. Something in his gut didn't feel right and he wouldn't rest until she was back home safe. Grabbing his jacket, he decided to head out and look for her. He got as far as the hallway when he head someone shouting his name...

"BUCKY...MR BUCKY HELP ME...ITS MUMMY" sobbed the boy, hurling himself at Bucky's leg "you have to help her..."

He looked confused at seeing little James on his own and hugged boy as he filled him in on what had happened to Brogan. Instantly, Bucky could feel his blood boil and began to pant hard at the boys tale. Inside, He could feel himself switching to his "Winter Soldier" persona now at the very thought of someone hurting Brogan. For this, Alex would pay greatly. Telling James to stay in the apartment he quickly raced out the front door. Hoping and praying that he wasn't too late. James had told him that Alex had dragged Brogan down a small dark alley that was only a couple of blocks from the apartment block. His Anger flew even further as he saw the man pin Brogan up against the wall...before ripping open the front of her dress

"oh I've heard all about you asshole" bellowed Bucky, he quickly grabbed Alex by the collar and hurled him hard across the street into the neighbouring wall "you son of a bitch…how could you do that to your own kid?" Clenching his metallic fist, Bucky punched him square in a face several times. Causing him to fall to the floor "Hit me then...you have no idea who you're dealing with"

"Who the fuck are you to talk to me about my kid?" Cried Alex, spitting at Bucky in the face "fuck you" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small firearm "Brogan deserved everything that came to her..." pulling the trigger, a stray bullet rebounded off Bucky's arm and into the wall "who the hell are you anyway?"

"your worst nightmare..." Bucky glared at the man, piercing daggers through him "you have no idea what I'm capable of...trust me"

"Yeah right...like you scare me.." Mocked Alex "id like to see you try"

Alex managed to get to his feet, running at Bucky he aimed another punch at the older mans stomach. Quickly, Bucky blocked the blow and hit Alex in the face several times. The smaller man fell to his knees but had no time to rest as Bucky Dragged him up by his hair, forcing him to stand. He hit three hard punch and watched as the younger man fell to the floor in a heap. Blood was pouring from his nose, eyes and mouth at the sheer devastations of Bucky's punches. Standing over him, Bucky wiped his own bleeding lip with his sleeve and aimed one last hard kick at the fallen mans head, knocking him out cold.

Taking a deep breath he dropped to the floor and much to his relief found Brogan had a pulse…a very faint one but still a pulse

"Brogan? I need you to talk to me" He whispered softly, stroking her face "wake up Dammit...please" his metallic hand cupped her cheek "Don't leave me like this Brogan"

Gently he shook her shoulder and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. The young woman's eyes soon began to flicker slightly before slowly beginning to open. Bucky breathed a huge sigh of relief and took her hand in his, kissing her palm

"Bucky?….what happened?" She had no strength to talk but managed a tiny whisper as she gazed up at him "Where's James?. Alex did this..."

"Shhh it's gonna be ok" he gazed deep into those emerald eyes that he really did love and had bewitched him from their very first meeting at the Smithsonian "He came to find me at home…don't worry about that son of a bitch either…he's never going to hurt you again...I promise you Brogan"

"I hurt so much Bucky…" she slowly pulled herself up to her feet using him as a support but her legs gave way at the last minute. Luckily, Bucky's lightning reflex actions stopped her from hitting the floor hard and he caught her in his arms "everywhere hurts so bad…Why has this happened to me Bucky?" Brogan cried "I'm never going to be free am I?"

"You are now Brogan trust me" he whispered, draping her arm round his neck. He looked down and could see that Alex was still not moving from the devastating punches Bucky had inflicted on him. Was he dead? At this exact moment in time. Bucky didn't care if he was. It wouldn't be a loss to the world if he had right? In the distance he could hear the impending arrival of several police cars and knew this was his cue to leave "let go home.."

"Thank you Bucky…" Using all her strength she reached up and cupped his bearded cheek stroking it softly with her thumb before resting her head on his shoulder "thank you…you're my hero"


	7. Chapter 7

After reaching the safety of the apartment block about 10 minutes later, Bucky looked down in his arms and could see that Brogan had now fallen asleep. Every now and again she would stir but still clung onto his neck, pressing her head further into his shoulder. Reaching his room, he called out to James to open the door and went inside, still holding Brogan in his arms

"MUMMY...is she dead Bucky?" sobbed the boy, following Bucky to the bed at the far side of the room "I hate Daddy..."

"she's going to be OK James... I promise" said Bucky, gently placing her down on the soft pillow. She stirred slightly but didn't awake and her eyes remained closed. Softly he caressed her cheek and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear "she just needs to rest now. As do you" he smiled, squeezing for the boys shoulder "try and get some sleep...I promise you that I'll be right here and won't leave her side...your father's never going to hurt her again James...I give you my word...you trust me don't you?"

"yes I trust you...goodnight Bucky" climbing onto the bed, the little boy reached for his sleeping mothers hand and then kissed her cheek "goodnight mummy...I love you"

Making himself a coffee, Bucky sat on the old rickety chair by the side of the bed and continued to look over at the now sleeping Brogan. It may of taken a while but seeing her like this, so helpless and in pain, had made him finally realise his true feelings for Brogan. In his heart indeed he had feelings for her, feelings that went way more than just the friendship the two shared. He felt a bond and a deep connection to the young mum. With everything he'd been through with HYDRA and only fragments of his past etched in his mind, he never thought he'd find love. Yet I guess you could now, even in the strangest of places or scenarios...

"Bucky? Are you still awake? " whispered a tiny voice softly. Turning around he could see it was James standing in the door way, clinging onto his teddy "can I ask you something about Daddy please?...then I'll go straight to sleep...I promise"

"Course you can…what's up?" he knelt down in front of the boy and reached for his arm "go for it buddy"

"Am I bad?" the little boy sobbed gazing sadly at the floor "is it because of me that he's a bad man? Am I going to be like Daddy when I'm big boy?"

"Oh buddy…listen to me" He scooted closer to the boy and held onto his hand in a reassuring grasp "whatever kind of man your Daddy is James its got nothing to do with you ok?...you are one amazing little man…never forget that'" leaning over he squeezed his shoulder "You will never end up like him. You're too much of a good boy and are more like your mother than him in more ways than one" he laughed, playfully tapping him on the nose "anyway you won't be seeing him anymore…I promise you that…he's never going to hurt you or your mom ever again...I give you my word James"

"Is it bad I don't want him as my daddy anymore?" replied little James finally looking up at Bucky "He's a bad man…is it wrong that I hate him for what he did to mummy?"

"No it isn't Buddy...like I said, I promise you that neither you or your mom will ever see him again" said Bucky softly, "now, get some sleep…ill be right here with your mom…"

"Wait..." James quickly hurled his arms around the mans neck ,pulling him close. At first Bucky didn't know what to do and froze. slowly he raised his hands and gently began to stroke the boys back in a reassuring protective embrace "I wish you were my Daddy Bucky…why can't you be my Daddy?"

"Its OK James, I wish I was too" he continued to hold the boy protectively in his arms "you and your Mom might not be in the mess you are in now if I had been" releasing his hold on the youngster he reached forward and cupped his cheek "I can be something better than a Daddy though James" he smiled softly, wiping his tears "I can be your best friend….A best friend that be with you till the end of the line…now, go get some sleep...Me and your mom will be right here" he kissed the top of his head and watching on as the boy left "goodnight James..."

Bucky was true to his word and sat watching over Brogan all night. He rarely slept anyhow so staying up all night really wasnt anything new to him. Even when he did sleep, he'd be lucky if it was a couple of hours tops. Switching on the TV, he paused on a local news report covering a breaking news story that instantly caught his eye...

" _ **breaking news this morning, a man was found beaten to death in an alleyway several blocks from the local movie theatre here in town. The man had extensive facial injuries and was pronounced dead at the scene...police are scanning CCTV from the surrounding area. Here is an image from the CCTV and a person of interest.."**_ Bucky turned away sadly at a grainy image on the screen of him attacking Alex before carrying away Brogan in his arms _**"our sources are saying that this individual bares a striking resemblance to the man feared by many as the legendary winter soldier. A man currently on the run for his crimes and responsible for so much death and destruction over the years. Many people have died at this mans hands so police are advising that if you do come into contact with him, approach with extreme caution... He is a very violent dangerous individual"**_

Hurling the remote to the floor, Bucky held his head in his hands and let out a deep painful sigh. Now he was torn about what to do. His head was telling him to leave and move on to the next town but his heart was telling him the complete opposite. The winter soldier Part of him knew he should flee as soon as possible but the Bucky Barnes part of him began to wonder if he could truly live his life now without Brogan in it. Reaching out for her, he gently caressed her cheek and then her hair. Gazing down at her, her wondered if she felt the same way about him. Yes, they had chemistry but how would she react when she finally knew the truth about him and his past? Could she handle fleeing one violent relationship to being in another one with him. The HYDRA programming was still in his head so the winter soldier was still there, even despite his best efforts to keep it under control...

"Bucky?...is that you?" slowly Brogan began to open her eyes and looked up at him. Relieved, he gently tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear "James...where's James?" she tried using all her energy to sit up but the pain hit her body hard and she collapsed back onto the pillow "You saved me again..."

"everything is going to be fine Brogan. You just need to rest..." gently he reached for her hand "just rest...I'll be right here"

"You're a good man Bucky...I know you don't think it sometimes but I believe you are" working through the pain, Brogan gripped onto his arm and managed to get to a sitting position. Reaching forward, she cupped his face and stared deeply into those blue glistering eyes of his "and I'm glad I've met you…."

Edging forward she planted a soft kiss on his cheek, staying there for several more seconds before pressing her forehead to his. Bucky sat stunned at her actions and froze in deep confusion. Slowly she looked into his eyes and moved closer before pressing her lips against his. This was something that she'd wanted to do ever since the very first moments as they began spending time together. At least he had his answer now about what she truly felt about him. Right now, He never felt more alive than how he felt with her in his arms kissing him like this. Grabbing the top of his metal arm, Brogan fell back onto the soft cushions of the bed managed to pull him on top of her. Bucky could still feel the smoothness of her lips against his now as the kiss continued and the deep desire as her hands ran through his hair before coming to a stop at the centre of his chest.

Opening her mouth, Brogan almost instantly could feel her body give into the passion for him. This first kiss between them was full of desire and instantly a soft moan escaped Brogan's lips as she pulled him even closer onto the bed. Right now nothing else mattered in the world but the two of them and this moment. Deep unreserved desire met them both as he tasted her mouth once more before driving his hands through the long locks of her hair. His metal hand slowly dropped down her back and gently began to cup at her rear as the kissing continued. When it was over, he once again moved the hair from her face and gazed into those beautiful eyes. He didn't know what the future had in store for him but none of that mattered right now. This was one moment he would make sure he would never forget


	8. Chapter 8

A week quickly went by and Brogan was still staying in Bucky's apartment as she continued to recover from the violent attack by Alex. The pain was residing daily and the scars were starting to finally heal for the young mum. Every night, Bucky would take the seat next to the bed and would wait till she was asleep before he even thought about resting himself. Even now as he watched her drift off, he couldn't get his head around the fact that she kissed him and allowed him to touch her like he had. James too was starting to feel happy about this relationship between Bucky and his mother. He walked in on them kissing one night and called it yucky, but as he looked to his heart he couldn't have been happier at his mother at last finding happiness and at last smiling again. Brogan had quickly fallen asleep now and at last Bucky allowed himself the chance to relax. Curling up on the chair, his eyes began to feel heavier now as sleep finally took over. It had been several days since he'd slept fully so he at last felt assured that the nightmares that often taunted him had at last subside...oh how wrong he was...

" _ **mission**_?"

 _ **The winter soldier removed his mask and stared intently at the group of men in front of him. The main man at the front was dressed in full military uniform, while those around him were wearing medical attire and various kinds of scrubs. The leader walked forward and smiled at him, handing him a huge firearm that was resting by the wall**_

 _ **"Your work so far has been**_ **extraordinary but we need you to continue...next door is a woman who poses a great threat to you and the future of HYDRA" The man** ** _handed him a picture of a woman with flowing brown hair and light green sparkling eyes, she was very beautiful indeed "kill her...once she is dead, then only can your legacy continue. She is a threat, a threat that needs to be extinguished...NOW"_**

 _ **The winter soldier took a brief look at the picture and headed for the door. The military man was right as there chained to a pipe was the woman from the picture. The woman looked up at him with pleading eyes begging him not to hurt her. Her beautiful green eyes glistening with tears from fear. She tried to kick at him but she was no match for the winter soldier. He grabbed her by the throat and lifted her several feet in the air. His power snapped her chains with ease and just as before she tried her hardest to fight him off**_

 _ **"Please don't do this..." she sobbed, feeling his metallic hand crushing her throat "don't kill me...you know me...its me"**_

 _ **"no..." The winter soldier tightened his grip and the woman began coughing furiously struggling to breathe "you're my mission...you must die"**_

 _ **Refusing her pleas, he forced her eyes to look at him and soon snapped her neck in one quick brisk movement. The woman was instantly dead and with his mission now a success, the winter soldier released his grip on her. The woman's body fell to the floor in a crumpled heap...**_

 _ **He was just about to leave when the most overwhelming pain shot through his head. Falling to his knees, he began to pant hard as the sensations in his head were getting too much to bear. Unable to cope he threw himself at the wall desperately hoping the pain in his head would stop. His heart was beating so rapidly now and the sweat began pouring down his face thanks to this pain. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced. Moments later, it just stopped and the room was a deathly silence once more. Removing his arms from head, the winter soldier slowly began to breath normally now. Scanning the surroundings, he instantly recognised where he was. He was at the HYDRA base where he was first captured. Hurling his gun away, he caught sight of the small heap of the woman who he killed moments earlier. Dropping to his knees, he reached forward and turned over the body. Gently, he moved the hair away from her face and fell backwards in horror at seeing who she really was...**_

 _ **"no..Nooo..Nooo" He sobbed, realisation hitting him now and His heart shattering into a million pieces "Im sorry Brogan...I'm so sorry..." he took her in his arms and began rocking back and forth. Pressing her head against his chest "im a monster. Nothing but a monster.."**_

 _ **"she was your mission..." came a voice from behind him "you were following your programming...you are and will always be the winter soldier. That's your destiny...she would have never accepted who you truly are. You did the right thing in ending her life"**_

 _ **He slowly pulled Brogan's body even closer and kissed her softly now on her ice cold lips. Turning to the voice, he was surprised to see a different version of himself standing there. This version was wearing a mask that covered up half his face and In his hand was a huge firearm resting over his shoulder**_

 _ **"No...she would have..." sobbed the man on the floor, still caressing the face of the fallen woman "she was different...she was special"**_

 _ **"and you believe that? You're a murderer... You have killed men, women and children. You are one of the greatest assassins of this time...and you let some woman get close to you" the other winter soldier mocked "you really are pathetic...HYDRA should have just left you to die after you fell from that train... They created a warrior but look at you now...you're NOTHING"**_

 _ **"SHUT UP...JUST SHUT UP..." he grabbed a small handgun from his waist and fired several shots into the chest of the other winter soldier. The figure fell back "SHUT THE HELL UP.."**_

 _ **"YOULL NEVER ESCAPE YOUR PAST!" laughed the other Winter soldier, getting to his feet "what makes you think she will want to be with you now?"**_

 _ **"because...I...I..."**_

 _ **"what!?" The other winter soldier laughed mockingly "she's far too a decent person to accept a future with a mass murderer like you..."**_

 _ **"because..." he looked down at the dead woman in his arms once more and forced out a smile. He reached towards her face and gently tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. Edging closer he planted one more single kiss on her lips "Because...Because I love her.."**_

At those final words, Bucky soon woke up from the dream. His eyes widened as he adjusted to his surroundings and slowly started to breathe normally. Looking at his feet, he could see Brogan clinging into his hands. Before she could speak or respond, he grabbed her head in his hands and kissed her hard. Overwhelming relief that she was alive and that he hadn't killed her flew through him as the kiss continued. Once it was over, he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close and even more grateful that she was here..

"are you OK?..I've been calling your name for like 20 minutes Bucky" said Brogan, finally releasing herself from his arms "you were having some kind of bad dream... You kept screaming out my name and saying you was sorry for everything you'd done..." seeing him still as white as a sheet, she reached over and cupped his cheek. Bucky leant forward and pressed his head on her chest. Gently she began to stroke his head, running her hand through the long locks of his hair soothingly "its OK Bucky, it was just a dream..."

"I need to tell you something Brogan...something about me..." Bucky responded, taking her hand in his and kissing her palm "I don't know how you'll take it... "

"Bucky, you're scaring me now...what's going on?"

"Its about my past... And who I am...Im never going to escape it, if I don't accept all the things I've done...i need you to know who I really am Brogan"


	9. Chapter 9

"Bucky...It was just a dream...A bad dream" soothed Brogan, stroking his hand "you don't need to explain anything to me...I already know who you are...you're Bucky...you're my hero remember?"

"Brogan...you don't know what I've done...I'm no hero, trust me"

"I don't understand..."

Saying nothing, he headed over to small bedside table and to a pile of leaflets that he'd took from his various trips to the Smithsonian. Quickly he rooted through the pile that he'd taken from the captain America wing and soon found the one he was after. Yet this one wasnt about the good captain and his adventures with his team of American heroes, this one was dedicated to his best friend since childhood one "Sgt James Buchanan Barnes". He couldn't even look at her now as the shame and deep embarrassment overwhelmed him. With his back still to her, Brogan's hand trembled as she took the leaflet and stared down at the handsome smiling man on the front cover in full military WW2 garb. The man was apparently born in 1917 and was killed in action just before the war ended. Stunned, Brogan looked down at the image of the soldier and gazed deeply into his eyes. The more she looked at the image, the feeling that he was familiar just couldn't escape her mind. There was something about him that she recognised but just couldn't put her finger on it. When it finally hit her where she knew the handsome soldier from, she gasped clasping her hands over her mouth. The blood draining from her face as she felt lightheaded, unable to take it in...

"This...This is you?" she dropped back onto the bed, still struggling to take it all and sat stunned still staring at the picture "how is this even possible? This says Sgt Barnes died just before the end of the war but...you're here..." slowly she turned to face him, only to be met still by his back coldly "Is this really you Bucky?"

"apparently so..." came a voice no more than a whisper "They took everything from me when they found me...including my name"

"I don't understand...who?" cried Brogan, scratching her head "How is this even possible?"

"Hydra...hydra made it possible"

Brogan hung on his every word as Bucky explained to her all about HYDRA and what they had done to when they had him captured. Her heart broke when he went into detail about the experiments they performed on him and the torture he'd endured over the years. No human should have been made to suffer like he had. Feeling his pain, Brogan just wanted to hold him in her arms, sooth him and tell him everything was going to be alright. Yet as she sat sobbing at his tale, she wondered if even that would be enough to assure the man she'd grown to care for...

"but why did they do it to you?" she tried to reach for him but he edged away, still ashamed "I just can't take this all in Bucky..."

"They wanted a super assassin, they wanted a super soldier Brogan" he finally turned to look over at her "And would stop at nothing to achieve it...once they erased my memories and had control of my mind, I became their personal killing machine...I was programmed to kill at their command...and I did" slowly he walked over to window, placing his palms on the cill "Sgt Barnes was gone and they called me the winter soldier...it was Hydra that built my arm and this is why I hate it so much. Its a constant reminder of all the people that died at my hand"

"If this is you, then how come you haven't aged?" Brogan said growing even more confused "is this why you were at the museum then? To learn who you were?"

"After each mission they put me in a cryogenic sleep...they basically froze me. Technically I am in my 90's as I was born in 1917 but physically I've stayed the same age I was when they found me.." Brogan once again gasped in horror at what he'd endured, grasping her hands over her mouth as the tears once again fell as she tried to remember all that he'd suffered at their hands "they gave me a mission to kill captain America and we had this huge battle. As we fort he called me his friend...It stirred something inside me and I just couldn't finish him off and complete my mission. Even now I still don't know what made me pull him from the river that day...I can't remember much but it felt like I knew him...saving him that day was the right thing to do"

"so you don't remember anything about your past with him?"

"not a lot, that's why I kept going back to the museum" Said Bucky sadly "I believed him when he called me his friend...seeing everything at the museum just gave me proof that he was right about it all...I didn't even know what my name was before I went there..." he edged closer to the bed and sat next to her, gazing at her as she continued to look down at his picture "I owe that museum everything now...it helped me find out who I was and...then I met you there" he linked his metallic hand in hers and much to his surprise she didn't pull away in disgust "I killed Alex, Brogan...They are going to come looking for me again and I must leave..." slowly he got to his feet and looked at her sadly, his heart broken "I couldn't leave without telling you the truth... The real truth about my past...goodbye Brogan, you've been the one thing throughout all this that I've been certain of in this world."

Snapping out of her thoughts, Brogan quickly placed the leaflet back on the bed and raced over to follow Bucky out of the bedroom. He got as far as placing his hand on the doorknob when she slipped in front of him, blocking his way out. Saying nothing, she moved his hand away and pressed her back against the door

"wait...don't go...please Bucky" slowly she reached up a cupped his rough cheek, forcing him to look at her "I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for you back then but please don't run...don't go"

"Brogan, I've killed so many people...one was your child's dad for gods sake"

"just listen to me please Bucky" she smiled warmly, stroking his stubble with her thumb "It wasn't you that done those things, it was them..." She reached for his bag and took it from him, hurling it across the room "before he died, my dad told me to seize the moment and live for now. I never quite understood what it meant growing up but now I do" she smiled, slowly she placed a hand at the centre of his chest leaving Bucky more confused than ever "right now all I need to know is that you're my hero. You're the one who bought me back my missing child.. You're the one who saved my life in that alley and more importantly...you're the one..." pausing for a moment she ran her hands over the front of his T-shirt before linking her arms round his neck, pulling him closer "who I've fallen in love with.."

Moments later, Brogan kissed Bucky with so much passion, it left him fighting for breath. As Bucky's hand's traced down her spine and cupped at her bottom, He gentle lifted her off her feet and pressed her up against the door. Unable to move, Brogan pulled him close and guided him to her neck. Lucky for her, Bucky remembered from their first kiss that there was a little spot just on her collar that whenever he gave it attention, the feeling left her begging for more. Leaning forward he found that zone and began to nibble softly and cover it in gently sweet kisses. Almost instantly, Brogan melted in his arms and begged for more, softly moaning his name as the pleasure firmly took hold

"what about James?" Brogan suddenly panicked "he might hear us..."

"Don't worry...he went up to the roof...said he wanted to do some drawings for you" he said reassuringly "he'll be up there for ages..."

With his mouth soon distracted with her neck. She felt his Hand pull at her blouse that was tucked into her jeans. With it soon free, he slipped his hand underneath and at last could feel her silky soft skin. More kisses soon followed as his hand soon slipped to the lacy cup of her bra, brushing against her scars. She gasped suddenly at the coldness of his metallic hand on her breast as he massaged it softy and gave her instantly errect nipple a gentle pinch

He dabbed his lips on hers once more before letting both his hands slide down the front of her blouse. Her eyes rolling backwards as she called out his name. He kissed her again, his tongue exploring her tiny mouth and entwining with hers. Brogan let out a gasp as he ripped the blouse open, sending buttons flying in every direction possible and literally tore it from her body, hurling it to one side. Leaning forward he buried himself in her cleavage, covering the top of her breasts in gentle kisses. One hand soon pulled the cup of her bra and exposed her nipple to his gaze. There was a naughty glint in his eye as before looking up at her, he bent down low and latched himself onto her breast. Brogan's legs almost gave way now as he explored her nipple with his tongue. Gently biting down as she played with his hair, pulling him even closer

"Oh my God Bucky...please" she begged, feeling his erection pressing against her thigh "I need you..."

Saying nothing, he cupped her cheek and wiped away a sole tear with his thumb. Slowly he dabbed his lips on hers and wrapped his arms tight, pulling her closer. His hands ran over her back and down to her bottom. Within seconds he scooped her up in his arms and carried her back to the bedroom. Brogan draped her hand round his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. She let hands slip under his shirt and caress his impressive torso with her fingers. There was an instant groan in pleasure from him at her touch...

"Are you sure about this?" he cried placing her down at the foot of the bed "I don't want to hurt you...I Don't know what might happen..."

"I may of never been with a 90 year old super soldier before but right now I've never been sure of anything more in my life...I want this" she smiled, pulling off his cap and hurling it to the floor "I want you...James Buchanan Barnes" His eyes widened at her using his full name. Her hands trembled slightly as they went to his waist, pulling at his T-shirt before slipping it over his head. Slowly, she nuzzled in on his neck at began to kiss at his collar bone as she ran her hands over his chest "make love to me Bucky...please"


	10. Chapter 10

Bucky may of towered over her but Brogan managed to pull him down to her height and began to kiss at his neck, the sensation of her touch prickling at the skin all over his body. He shuddered slightly and let out a soft moan at her lips meeting the bridge between skin and metal.. He'd already made quick work of removing her blouse and left her top half in just the black lacy material of her bra. Immediately, She draped her arms around his neck and leaned in closer now for another kiss. His gaze during the kiss was so full of heated passion that Brogan almost melted right there

"I mean it Brogan, If I hurt you or you want me to stop...you gotta tell me" he began to run his hands up her sides and around her back "Like I said before, I don't know what might happen...its been a while since I...I mean...well..I don't want to hurt you."

"I understand Bucky..." she looked deeper into those beautiful blue eyes and smiled "Its been a while for me too...we'll learn together"

She clung even tighter to his neck now, barely registering that his hand had slipped down to the front of her jeans. He kissed her hard once again before using his free hand to push them down to the floor. Giving him a smirk, Brogan ran her hands through his hair before kicking off her jeans and underwear. He began working at her neck, as he slowly slipped the straps of her bra down her shoulders. Pausing briefly, Bucky watched as she unhooked the catch of the bra from behind and hurled it at the chair next to the bed. Feeling suddenly shy she covered herself with her arms the best she could, before turning a deep shade of crimson and gazed nervously at the floor. Desperately and awkwardly trying to cover the many scars and bruises that covered her body. Alex's words at branding her permanently to make her look a freak to other men began replaying over and over in her head as she couldn't look at him or meet his gaze

"its ok, you don't need to hide from me..." He reached over and slowly moved her arms away from her chest. He placed his metallic hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him. Salty wet tears filled her eyes "You really are beautiful...never forget that Brogan"

Soon, Bucky cupped at her breast and began to feel the fission of her nipple at the centre of his palm. Brogan moaned his name at his touch as her hand slowly dropped to the front of his jeans. Surging in a new found confidence at his words, She grabbed at him and began to stroke at his hardness through the tight confines of his jeans. For him, this was an exquisite agony and one that hoped would last for as long as necessary. Not knowing how much more he could take, Bucky quickly took off his jeans and slipped out of his boxers, hurling them to the floor. Edging closer to her, He raised one of her legs and draped it around his waist. Kissing her once more. Loving being this close to him, Brogan let her hands slide over his broad muscular chest and paying particular attention to the area around his nipples. Followed by the bridge where his skin met the cold metal of his arm. Cupping her rear, he lifted her up so she could now wrap her other leg around his waist before kissing her once again, falling backwards onto the bed behind them in the process...

"You don't need to be afraid…" soothed Bucky looking down at her and moving her curls from her face. Losing himself more than ever in those beautiful green eyes "like I said earlier...you're beautiful"

"I'm not scared anymore..." she whispered, running her hand over his muscular chest and playing with a lock of his hair "I want this too...show me Bucky"

Sitting back on his knees, Bucky reached forward and gently parted her legs. A small gasp escaped her mouth as she felt him slip 2 fingers deep inside her, filling her. Curling them, he pumped hard and began to stroke her core with his thumb. Almost immediately he could hear her soft moans as she clenched against his fingers. She clung onto his shoulder and gasped as he pumped deep into her.

Much to Brogan's disappointment, he removed his fingers just before her orgasm took hold. Breathing hard, she watched him shuffle further down the bed to her feet. Catching her breath, she watched him start kiss at her ankle before slowly working up to her inner thigh. Pausing only to cover her entire body and each and every bruise in soft gentle kisses. Brogan couldn't help but giggle at the sensation of his beard tickling her as he moved further up. Looking down her body, she could now see that Bucky within wisps of the area between her legs. With wide eyes she quickly gasped as he moved forward, planting a soft kiss on the long wetness of her opening. Brogan clung hard onto the sheet as instantly he found her nub, taking his time gently letting his tongue circle her aroused core and driving her wild. He took a deep pride in seeing her rolling her eyes on the pillow as her pleasure spiralled upwards..

Soon, she could eventually start to feel the pre orgasm build up start deep in her very depth of stomach. Her body grinded against his mouth now as he continued to work on her with his tongue. She fort hard to control her breathing and panted his name over and over. Sweat dripping down her face, glistening her skin in the process

"Oh my god…" His eyes looked up to Brogan, a real sense of pride with this effect he was having on her. Nobody had ever done this act on her before. Not even Alex in those early days of their relationship. This was like nothing she'd ever experienced "Bucky.."

He knew now she couldn't fight it anymore…...mission complete...

Within seconds, she gripped onto his shoulder and felt the relaxation wash over her body as she started to come down from the most tremendous orgasm that she had ever experienced.

Bucky quickly shuffled up the bed and looked deep into her eyes to see if she was indeed now truly ready for him. There was no turning back for either of them now, both of them passing the point of no return. Once she nodded, he pushed forward and was soon deep inside the young mum. Brogan gasped at this first thrust merging them fully as one. He knew they shared a deep bond and connection at that first meeting back at the museum. Yet now the feeling of how right it felt being inside her like this, only confirmed it even more. His thrusts deep in her pelvis soon sped up and left Brogan begging for more. He went back to her neck, covering her neck once more in gentle bites and soft kisses. Brogan arched her back and clung hard onto his shoulder, with the deep pleasure overwhelming her. She instantly grabbed his roving metallic hand, placing it on her breast and leaving her aching for even more of his touch.

Rolling over, Bucky's eyes widened as Brogan began writhing on top of him now. He met each of her thrusts and took even more pleasure in the moans escaping her lips as she leaned backwards rolling her hips over his lap. Her breath became more rasping now and the echo of pleasure filled the room. Panting hard, Brogan slowly lent forward and pressed her hands on his shoulders. Kissing him again before pressing her forehead to his. Taking a deep breath, Bucky let his eyes close, further giving himself over completely to the feel of Brogan's lips moving down his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and gently stroked her back before cupping her bottom pulling her deeper onto him. He felt whole, as some part of him that had been missing had been restored now and it was all thanks to the young woman he first lay eyes on at the Smithsonian

His touch wound her stronger and after one last deep thrust, Brogan felt his body tense. she knew immediately he'd reached his climax. Soon, she felt her own orgasm cresting through every part of her body too as she too reached the very peak of pleasure. Her hips came clamping down on him, feeling her own cry echoing his. Her legs shuddered as she screamed his name, collapsing on his chest. Bucky quickly hugged her close and kissed at her neck as the sweat was still pooling over her skin from the intense lovemaking between them both

"Wow...for a 90 plus year old man Bucky you defiantly know your stuff" she laughed, pressing her head to his chest.

Slowly, she reached for his metal hand and wrapped it around her waist. Happy and for the first time in many years... Safe


	11. Chapter 11

It was little after 9am when little James woke up the following day from his improvised bed on the sofa in Bucky's apartment. Last night had been the first night in months that he actually didn't have one of his nightmares and slept right through. Remembering what happened before he went to sleep, a warm smile filled his face as he bought his beloved Teddy bear even closer to his chest. it was Bucky who'd tucked him in bed after he came down from the roof after his creative arts and crafts session earlier. He was so excited to show his mother the drawings he'd done and searched the apartment for her, only to he stopped by Bucky heading out of the bedroom area, a white sheet wrapped tightly around his waist. Bucky quickly told him that his mummy was very tired, was having an early night and that she'd see him in the morning. This seemed the more innocent explanation for a child at where his mother was. Bucky then offered to put him to bed instead of Brogan. Thinking nothing of the fact that Bucky was partially clothed, James's eyes widened at the prospect of his new hero tucking him into bed. Excitedly, he took Bucky's hand and headed over to the couch.

Jumping off the couch just now, James was met by a deathly silence as nobody else seemed to be awake yet. Grabbing his teddy, he quickly tucked it under his arm and headed across the apartment to the room he knew Bucky usually slept. Taking a deep breath the little boy, being as quiet as he could, reached up and slowly pushed open the door. What he saw made him smile so much that he thought he could burst. There in the bed was his Mummy and Bucky curled up together fast asleep. Brogan was lying on her side, clinging onto the pillow, while Bucky was pressed up against her back, his arm draped around her protectively with his metallic hand clasped within hers tenderly. Although James was slightly confused that they both seemed to had lost their clothes, he decided to leave them be and crept back along the hall, sitting on the sofa and switching on the little TV in the far end of the room…

About an hour later and Bucky was the next to awake. Slowly opening his eyes, He was now lying on his back with Brogan resting her head on his chest. Her hand was directly over his heart now, still in a deep contented sleep. Looking down at her, he began replay the night of passion they had both shared as he ran his hand through her hair. At How they had made love numerous times, after he put James to bed before collapsing in each others arms. This made if Official for Bucky now. He wanted to be with Brogan and this new instant family permanently. Being as gentle as he could, Bucky moved Brogans head to the pillow and softly moved some of the curls away from her face. He really never thought that someone like her would want to be with someone like him, especially after finding out about everything he'd done and what he was. Yet, apparently she did and Bucky was determined to not let his one shot of happiness go. Everything about her was just perfect. Her touch and sheer presence had turned his entire world upside down now and changed his outlook on his life forever. Just that moment Brogan began to stir. she let out a yawn and gazed adoringly up at him, greeting him with a winning smile. Last night had been the best she had ever had with a man. He may have been many years older than herself and not known much about much of life but Bucky without a doubt defiantly knew how to please a woman. Brogan hated it whenever Alex wanted to be intimate with her. In fact he was the only man she'd been with. Making love to Alex was at times a pretty much one sided affair for Brogan, with him being his usual dominant self with her. Like everything in his life, Alex liked being control and just left her dissatisfied every time. Yet, last night with Bucky it was completely different. It was how Brogan thought making love was meant to be. He made her feel special, was gentle and tender with his touches. He left her aching and needing more...Just proved by the number of times they made love

"Good morning you" There was a deep look of love in her eyes as she gazed opposite at him "last night was amazing. I wish it didn't have to end" She grasped his head in her hands and planted a soft lingering kiss on his lips. "Considering you are like 90 and everything...you have got some stamina" she joked reaching for his face once more "it was perfect…you was perfect…"

"Brogan, I want you to know that I no way regret what we did but... I don't know if I'm worthy of all this.." He looked at her with sadness in his eyes "I don't know if I can give you the life you deserve...they won't stop looking for me, you know that right?...They wont stop until they have me behind bars or I'm dead..."

"Listen to me Bucky, you have shown me more love and kindness these past few weeks than anyone had shown me in my life..." Brogan smiled reassuringly "yes, you've done a lot of bad things but that wasn't you...That was all down to those bastards at HYDRA and the winter soldier...not the real you...not James Buchanan Barnes " she gently ran her hand through his hair, as he reached for her palm kissing it gently "The guy that saved my life, shown me so me so much love and kindness these past few weeks is more than worthy...but you're right...they are not going to stop looking for you..."

Releasing her from his arms, Bucky sighed and gazed sadly up at the ceiling. Residing himself to the fact that he was destined never to be with this amazing woman now. Yes he didn't have his full memories back but the one thing he was sure of was that he'd never meet a woman like Brogan again. Slipping his legs at the side of the bed, he sat up and ran his hand through the long locks of his hair. His heart at breaking point at the growing realisation of a life without her in it now

"Im just glad that you've given me the memory of last night... That will stay with me always.." He was so in cased in his thoughts that he didn't realise Brogan had moved off the bed and was standing right in front of him, still wrapped in a crisp white sheet "Say goodbye to James for me..."

"Bucky, who said anything about me leaving you?.." she smiled, sitting on his lap. Reaching forward she tucked a loose lock of his hair behind his ear and kissed him passionately "I've just found you and I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon..." she held his head in his hands, caressing his beard with her fingertip "I've never truly felt like this about anyone. The way I feel when I'm around you makes me feel so Alive and free...something I never felt the entire time I was with Alex" he looked lovingly into those beautiful green eyes that had now welled with tears "Regardless of all that you've done, I know that you're just Bucky to me…the same Bucky I fell for when you bought James back to me that day at the museum"

"what are you trying to say Brogan?" whispered Bucky softly "what do you mean?"

She kissed him hard once and gently began caressing his well formed chest with her the tips of her fingers

"what I'm trying to say is that...I think..." she struggled to find the right words and decided Just saying them out right would be the way to explain "Take me with you..."

"WHAT?...I can't...I can't" he gasped, stunned at her out of the blue proclamation "I can't do that to you...A life on the run and hiding in shadows isn't a life for you...let alone James as well"

"Bucky, for the past 8 months that's what I've been doing anyhow...I've grown use to that life and so has James" she cried, stroking the cold metal of his arm "Im listening to my dads advice for once and seizing the moment...I want to be with you Bucky...always..."

"You're willing to give up on everything for a life on the run with me?" He struggled to catch his breath, still stunned "but...but why?..."

"because right now, I don't want to imagine the rest of my life without you in it" she smiled "That's why your worthy Bucky...you've changed my life..."

The pair soon fell back on the bed and Brogan was now pinned by the bigger man deep onto the bed. Bucky looked down at his new love and moved her curls away from her face. He gazed down at her beauty and once again into those emerald eyes that bewitched him from that first meeting. Lowering his head he went back to her neck and back to that sensitive spot on her collar that he knew drove her wild. He could hear her moan his name softly and slowly feel her slip her hands round his neck, pulling him closer..

Slowly he dropped his metallic hand under the sheet covering her modesty and began to run it down her leg, dangerously close to her inner thigh

"I may not know much about my life and who I am Brogan" He said, still caressing her leg as she clung onto his neck "but Nobody has ever been willing to give up so much just for me...Hydra might have my mind for the time being but you have everything else...Im yours till the end of the line..."


	12. Chapter 12

**_6 months later...Bucharest_**

True to her word, Brogan stayed at Bucky's side for the next 6 months. He was still on many government watched lists for his past endeavours but so far had managed to avoid detections. Just as before, they normally stayed somewhere for a couple of weeks and move on when suspicions started to arise. Owing to the fact they had James with them now too, added even greater ammunition to their cover. On first glance, they just looked like your normal everyday family. Nothing to suspect them that they were fugitives on the run in the slightest. Just a devoted mum and dad, with an adorable little boy, loving being around each other. There was one incident in one small town when an old lady commented on how much James looked like Bucky as they headed home one night. At first Bucky panicked slightly but luckily Brogan eased his anxiety and thanked the old Woman for her kindnesses. Smiling at Bucky as she told her how lucky James was to have such an amazing Daddy in his life. Brogan was always good at easing Bucky's anxiety when they ever did find themselves amongst crowds. She was now starting to get good at sensing those early signs for whenever his anxiety started to take over. Gently, she would always take his hand in hers, give him a loving reassuring smile and within seconds his nerves always eased. This was another huge reason why he was glad to have her at his side right now...

The family had now headed abroad and were currently residing in Bucharest, Romania. Still managing to stay hidden from the special forces, they had now settled into a tiny studio apartment just off the more busier streets of town. Luckily the landlord asked no questions and they quickly settled into their new home. Yes, it was just as tiny and grotty as the last one but for Brogan none of that mattered. They were together and that was her main priority. It was a strange set up, but right now Brogan wouldn't have had it any other way

"mummy, where's Bucky gone?" yawned James, emerging from his room. He sat at the small table and started to pour out some cereal before gasping in fear, almost spilling the milk "oh no...oh no...the bad men have got him haven't they?" Quickly the boy got to his feet and began pulling at her arm "mummy we need to go save him... Quick. Let's go mummy...Bucky needs us"

"calm down darling..." laughed Brogan, dropping to her knees and pulling him close in a reassuring hug "He's just popped down to the market to get me some fruit.. He'll be back soon and I hear he wants to take you to the park later...you know the one you haven't stopped going on about all week...the one with the boats" she smiled, kissing the boys head "The bad men haven't got him so don't worry about a..."

Stopping mid sentence, she pulled James close and froze at the sudden sound of creaking floorboard at the entrance of the apartment. Instantly she threw her back against the wall, clutching her hand over James mouth. The footsteps continued for several more seconds and then came to a stop...someone was in the apartment

"Now baby I need you to do something for me OK?" in a voice no more than a whisper she dropped to her knee, holding his head in her hands "I need you to go to your room and hide under the bed OK?..just like Bucky told you to do if the bad men ever showed up right?..just go OK...NOW"

Nodding furiously, James raced to his room and slid under the bed. Knowing that her beloved son was safe, Brogan crept into the lounge and slowly pulled at a draw on a small cabinet. Inside was a small silver pocket revolver that Bucky insisted she carry with her for "protection". He'd trained her over the last few months to be confident at firing it but much to Brogans relief, as the months went by the occasion hadn't called for her to do so.

Grabbing the gun, she took a deep breath and pulled back the trigger. Closing her eyes, she could still hear the heavy footsteps coming nearer and nearer...this mystery body in her apartment getting even more closer now. Taking one last deep breath, she pulled back, emerged from her hiding place and aimed the pistol in the direction of where the footsteps were coming from...

"you got about 10 seconds to get the hell out of my home" her eyes were still pressed shut, her tiny hand trembling "get out...leave us alone... " slowly she opened her eyes and gasped in sheer overwhelming shock at the figure in front of her. Still stunned, her mouth was no agape at the mystery person who'd broken into her home and invaded her surroundings. The gun dropped to the floor now as she immediately burst into tears, clasping her hand over her mouth and struggled to take it who was actually standing there in front of her "you're here for him aren't you?..."

The figure said nothing... Slowly lowering his hands and nodded sadly..


	13. Chapter 13

"mummy mummy, is it the bad men here to take Bucky away?" cried James, running into her arms "Don't let them Mummy. Don't let them take him"

"no honey, its not the bad men..." she wiped her tear filled eyes with her sleeve and forced out a smile, ushering him to look at the man in front of her. The little boy gasped in amazement as there stood in full uniform was the one and only Captain America "now James, the captain and I need to have a little chat about some stuff so I need you to go to your room OK? Everything's going to be fine...Bucky will be home soon to take you to the park remember? Why don't you go do him a picture...he'll like that..." she continued holding back her tears "see you Honey..."

The boy excitedly ran to his room and this now left Brogan with her very unexpected new houseguest. There was a brief awkward exchange of smiles before Brogan pulled up a chair by the table. Holding her head in her hands, she let out a deep sigh and began to shake her head. Her entire world and the happiness of the past several months crashing down in front of her. Her heart shattering beyond repair. This truly couldn't be happening right now. Ok, it wasnt the most stable of environments for a relationship but these past few months had truly been perfect. Together, she and Bucky had been so happy. Looking to her heart she just didn't want this happiness to end. Yet as she looked up at the man in front of her right now...maybe it was all about to...

Steve had been desperately searching for Bucky for years now and was more determined than ever to track his childhood friend down. Ever since Bucky pulled him from the river after their big fight, he 100% believed that his friends former self was still in the Winter Soldiers head somewhere. Bucky had never given up on him during their childhood and Steve wasnt about to do the same for him now. He needed him more than ever now. Especially as Bucky was the number one suspect in the recent bombing at the UN embassy. Regardless if Bucky believed it or not, he was determined more than ever to save him, just as Bucky had done for him in his pre captain America days.

After tracking Bucky continuously for the past few months, His sources had successfully given him a tip that Bucky was in hiding somewhere in Bucharest. Steve knew that if he knew about this lead, it wouldn't be long until the rest of the world did too and a team of special forces would be ready to strike soon as possible and could finally capture the illusive winter soldier. Their only goal in taking Bucky in dead or alive, it didn't matter to them. Thankfully he found his hiding place first but once he managed to get inside, he was even more stunned at being greeted by a beautiful young woman aiming a gun at him. The fact she had a kid who spoke so endearingly about Bucky just made him more confused then ever...

"Lets get straight to the point ma'am, who are you and what are you doing here?" Steve placed his shield on his back and edged closer to the obviously anxious young woman "you know where he is don't you? "

"I sent him to the market to get me some fruit...James and I were going to make him a cake" she slowly met his gaze, tears slowly flowing from his eyes "they know he's here don't they?... I knew that they would finally catch up with him" sobbed Brogan "I just didn't want to believe it..."

"listen to me ma'am, you are in danger if you stay here...The winter soldier is very dangerous... You are putting yourself and your son in danger every minute you are around him...so I just nee..."

Cutting him off, Brogan got to her feet and stood facing him. Like Bucky, he towered over her and completely dwarfed her in size. Yet Brogan wasn't intimidated. Her time with Bucky had changed her greatly, thanks to him she now had a new sense of worth and fire in her soul that he'd ignited deep within her. For the first time in years, she was feeling like her old self. The old confident fearless Brogan she once was before she got involved with Alex and all her troubles began

"You don't have to go all moral American hero on me now sir" she cried, a deep level of sarcasm in her words as she folded her arms over her chest "I know all about the work of the winter soldier but Bucky doesn't do that any more...Hes told me everything...even about you... pulling you from the river that day"

"if he told you everything then you know exactly why its not safe here..." pleaded Steve, taking a step back "They are coming for him...Regardless of if he hasn't done anything they want him dead ma'am...they won't take no for an answer"

"But he's not that man anymore... Hes remembering you... Remembering your past together... we was in bed the other night..." At the very thought of Bucky sleeping with a woman, Steve awkwardly looked at the floor. Noticing his squirms, Brogan couldn't help but smile "yes, he hasn't forgotten how to do that either I can tell you now" blushing as she remembered, the numerous times they'd slept together now these past few months "anyway I'm getting distracted now...but when suddenly out of nowhere he started telling me all about The time you both went to Coney island and at you threw up on one of the rides. He was so happy that HYDRA hadn't of wiped it all completely from his mind " Brogan smirked, pretty much the same reaction as when Bucky first told her the tale "he doesn't remember much else of the past but aspects of him are still there...He's still just Bucky. Your best friend and my hero...the man I love"

"love?" it was very much plain to see that whoever she was this woman cared a great deal about Bucky. The fact that despite all that he'd done in the past, she still wanted to be with him and everything. He knew she was genuine "what's your name by the way?"

"Brogan... Brogan Markson" she smiled "cant believe I'm going to say this but you kinda knew my Grandfather..."

"not Henry?...Henry Markson?" gasped Steve, a memory of a kind old man who would bring him records to play to ease his nerve's before the day of the experiment entered his head "wow, that's a turn up...he was a good man" Steve headed to a window and saw a picture pinned to the wall. In it was Brogan and Bucky at the local train station. It was obvious that James had most probably taken the picture as it at an angle and his finger was covering up part of it. Bucky had his arm protectively around her while Brogan had her head pressed on her shoulder. Steve could instantly feel the love between them both just by looking at this one picture "you care a lot about him don't you Brogan?"

"more than anything..."

"Then you know why you can't be here...they will be here in minutes and will kill you too. Maybe even your boy" he didn't want to scare her but maybe it was the only way of it getting through "we're both here for the same reason Brogan...we want the best for Bucky. If you stay here, you might die...do you want that for your son? Do you want him to be alone?" he edged forward and took her trembling hands in his "I want to protect you...for Bucky. He would want you to be safe and with this team on their way to take him out, you're not" slowly Brogan looked up at him, her eyes glistening with more wet tear "he may not know who I am right now but the Bucky I knew back then would do anything to keep his love safe... That's why I need you to go...I give you my word that I'll do everything I physically can to keep him safe...I promise..."

"what will they do to him if they catch him?"

"I don't know but that's why I'm here first... I can't give up on him either Brogan...just like you" He cried, handing her the photograph "he needs us both more than ever...so this is why I need you to be safe..."

"ok I'll go..." Brogan sobbed, clutching the picture to her heart. Gently she kissed his image and ran her fingers over it softly. Her heart shattered beyond repair right now "Goodbye Bucky...I love you..." she turned back Steve, who could instantly feel her pain and hurt in her eyes "please tell him it wasn't because of his past or anything..."

"I promise you I'll do all I can for him..." he continued "get yourself and the boy somewhere safe...I'll keep you updated... I promise Brogan..."

Calling for James, she grabbed a rucksack and took one last look at the apartment. They hadn't of been there for very long but the memories were still pretty much happy ones here. She looked at the kitchen and thought back to the time when Bucky made her breakfast, she looked over at the lounge where they'd curled up to watch TV after James had gone to bed and then her eyes fell at the bed at the far end of the room. Memories of the many times, they had made love and given into their desires replaying in her mind. So many happy memories...

"I give you my word remember .." called Steve "you should now that Captain America is a man of his word right?"

Forcing out a smile, she placed her hand on the door knob taking one last look around...

"I know...thank you..."


	14. Chapter 14

Relieved that Brogan had heeded his advice, Steve was now alone in the eerily deserted apartment. On first glance there indeed wasnt anything out of the ordinary. Taking a deep breath, he crossed the lounge and caught sight of pile of leaflets that had his face plastered over them piled up on the table. It was obvious that this was a just fraction on ones taken from Bucky's various trips to the Smithsonian. Heading to the kitchen next he picked up a small notebook that was resting on the fridge. Inside was numerous scrawling's he immediately recognised from Bucky's hand. On further reading, he noted that it was actually a record of all his dreams that he'd been having recently as he desperately hoped these were former links to his past. He was just about to put it back when a photograph slipped out of the pages and onto the floor. Bending low, he picked it up and was slightly confused that it was a picture of him and Bucky from his pre-captain America days. The Bucky in the photo had a proud reassuring hand on his best friends shoulder, instantly you could feel the close bond of friendship between the pair. Getting to his feet, he paused for a moment. He just couldn't escape the feeling that someone was behind him. His senses going into overdrive at the realisation he was bring watched. Slowly turning he took step back and could instantly see that it was Bucky. This was the first time in several years he'd seen his best friend

"You know who I am?" slowly Steve reached for his shield and stared intently at the man "yes?"

"You're Steve... I read about you in a museum" replied Bucky "Brogan told me who you was too..." suddenly at her name, Bucky could feel his anger rise and blood start to boil "where is she? What have you done with her?" he hurled himself at Steve and grabbed him by the throat "WHERE IS SHE? Tell me NOW"

"Bucky she's safe...the boy too" Steve managed to remove himself from Bucky's tight grip and stepped backwards "It wasn't safe for her here...They know you're here Buck and are going to be here in minutes trust me" His eye caught a photo of James and Brogan in a small frame by the kitchen "They'd of killed them too Bucky...I know you don't really remember me but the Bucky I knew wouldn't have wanted that to happen... He'd of put the safety of the woman he loved before anything" a voice in his ear quickly told him the special forces team were on the roof and would be now hitting the apartment in seconds "They're here Buck...they're coming for you...you need to go...they will stop at nothing until your dead"

"I'm dead without her anyhow so maybe I should just let them take me" he sat down on a chair and gazed heartbroken at the floor "I should have known I wasn't worthy of the love of someone like her...Im never going to be"

"Bucky listen to me...The bombing...They think it was you" continued Steve softly "I know it wasn't...so does Brogan. People are dead and they won't stop until you are too...I gave her my word that I'd keep you safe ...so we need to get out of here...NOW. ."

"I wasn't anywhere near that bombing...I promised her that I wouldn't do that anymore" cried Bucky, hearing the impending footsteps on the stairwell "I didn't do it...I didn't kill those people"

Steve was just about to reach for his arm when within seconds a metallic grenade was hurled through the window. Instinctively, Bucky kicked it to Steve who quickly covered it with his shield, saving Bucky's life in the process. The men looked at one another but before either could speak they both could hear the sound of battering ram, beating heavily on the door

"It doesn't have to end in a fight Buck" said Steve, seeing that Bucky had removed his glove and was gazing at his metallic hand "just think about Brogan...how's she going to react when she finds out you're dead?"

"it always ends in a fight..." He turned to Steve "Promise me you'll keep her safe... "

Before Steve could give him an answer, 2 men burst through the window of the apartment. Glass shattered everywhere but Bucky wasn't giving up. He ran at one and hit him with several devastating punches. With Bucky distracted, he failed to see the other man reaching for his machine gun but luckily Steve saw him. He grabbed at the mans leg, causing him to fall backwards. Immediately gunfire filled the apartment. It was only thanks to the quick thinking of his reflexes that both men avoided the rapid fire from the weapon...Thinking that was it, Bucky headed for the back door but Steve grabbed his arm in a tight grip, doing anything he could to stop his friend from doing even more damage...

"Bucky stop...you're gonna kill someone" he cried, hoping those aspects of his friend was indeed still there just as Brogan had told him "you'll never be free if you kill more people Buck..."

Bucky pushed him backwards and pinned him to the floor. He raised his fist above his head, almost as if he was going to punch him in the face. Steve closed his eyes ready for the all to familiar devastating force he knew too well. Much to his surprise, Bucky punched at the floorboards and the area next to his head. Quickly he grabbed Bucky by the wrist, staring deep into those hurt filled eyes

"I'm not gonna kill anyone...I promised her" The punch had caused a huge hole in the floorboards. Reaching in he grabbed at a rucksack and hurled it out the window "Keep my family safe Steve... Promise me?"

Before he could give his friend an answer, another man jumped through the window and began shooting at the men with even more devastating gunfire. Bucky pulled Steve to his feet, pulling him in front of him. Bullet after bullet rebounded off the shield. Grabbing Steve's arm, Bucky pushed him through the glass and onto the small balcony by the window. Taking out yet another special forces officer ready to strike...

The man in the kitchen began firing again but this time Bucky ran forward and blocked the gunfire with his hand. Bullets rebounded of the metal but still Bucky edged closer not giving up, knocking the man off his feet with a devastating force. With the apartment now clear, Bucky kicked the door off completely off its hinges and rolled his eyes at the at least 15-20 other officers waiting for him in the stairwell. Quickly he grabbed the door and threw it at several men on the landing. With the men down, he reached for the battering ram that had been discarded. Using it as a weapon now, hitting blow after blow as he fort for his life and try and escape the crowded stairwell.

"Man down... Send more backup... We need help NOW" cried a terrified officer in native German tongue "Rogers is here too..."

Steve quickly grabbed the radio and crushed it in his hand. The officer watched in horror and fled. Looking over, Steve watched as Bucky went from floor to floor and fort for him life and what he considered his freedom. Finally catching up with him, Steve reached for his shoulder and forced Bucky to look at him

"I give you my word Bucky...I'll make sure she'll be safe...I promise you"

Bucky seemed relieved at Steve's words. Breathing easier now, he took a long run up and leapt right down the middle of the stairwell and down several levels of the apartment. Landing on his feet, Bucky looked up and could see Steve still punching and attacking further of the special forces men. After taking the men out, Steve headed to the bannister and gazed down at Bucky. Not saying a word, Steve nodded. With that one action, Bucky knew his family would be safe now...


	15. Chapter 15

After a much intense and heated chase, Bucky soon found himself captured by the special forces team and was now heading back to the compound just out of town. Due to his super soldier status, he'd been secured into a specially created holding unit that was basically impossible for him to break free from. His arms were strapped to a chair and there was a metal chest plate on his front that was also attached to his neck. Yet right at this moment, Bucky didn't care and continued to stare blankly into the distance as he was moved into the holding area of his cell. With Brogan now gone, he didn't really care what they did to him anymore. The fact that he wouldn't have her in his life anymore was punishment enough for him. The ultimate price

In a neighbouring room, Steve turned away as the image of Bucky in his cell filled the screen. He could instantly feel the pain and hurt in his best friends eyes with that one look. He gave Brogan his word that he'd keep Bucky safe but with his friend languishing in a jail cell right now, guilt firmly took over at his failure. He was all set to leave when another image on a different screen caught his eye. It was fairly grainy but there, sitting on a bed in another jail cell was Brogan. She had obviously been crying but was clinging reassuringly onto her son as she cautiously looked around the room. Steve was stunned, not only did they have Bucky but now they had her...

"you have got to be kidding me?" he cried, pointing at the screen and shaking his head "you bought her in too?"

"she's been shacked up with Barnes for the past 6 months so that makes her guilty by association" cried the guy at the computer "plus with the apparent influence she has over him she has been declared a threat also"

"She's just a mom for gods sake" cried Sam Wilson, one of Steve's newest Allies "you're punishing her for falling in love man? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

"I want to see her..." snapped Steve, slamming his fist on the desk and glaring at the guy at the computer "I gave Bucky my word I'd keep them safe...you can't do this to her...she was only following her heart"

"you got 5 minutes...then we're shipping her off for relocation...then she will never see her precious murderer again. And Barnes is ours"

Racing down the Hall, he soon found his way and managed to enter the cell. Brogan was indeed there, sitting on the bed with James's head nestled next to her thigh. She was still crying but gentle began stroking her boys head as he began to slowly drift off into a deep sleep. Looking up at Steve, she forced out a pained smile but the heartbreak soon took over and she promptly burst into a flood of tears. Pulling up a chair next to her, Steve reached forward and took her tiny trembling hand within his own. Feeling reassured she looked at him and forced out a smile once more...

"I'm so sorry they've done this to you Brogan" he whispered gently, squeezing her hand "I'll get you out of here somehow...trust me"

"its OK, It was my choice and mine alone to go into hiding with him.." said the distressed woman, gazing at her sleeping child "we were both running from our pasts so I guess it was inevitable that it caught up with us both...we're very similar in that aspect...maybe that was why I fell in love with him...we were just 2 lost souls out there in the world but I'm glad we found one another at least"

"what do you mean?"

Taking a deep breath, Steve listened intently as Brogan told him everything. Starting with everything that she'd been through with Alex and the violence she'd endured. That first moment she met Bucky at the Smithsonian museum, the night he saved her from being attacked by Alex in that Alley, how he'd nursed her back to health and been there constantly for her these past several months. Regardless of what he'd done, she loved Bucky Barnes more than life itself. He'd changed her life completely and for that she'd be eternally grateful

"what's going to happen to him?" sobbed Brogan "are they going to kill him?" she clasped her hand over her mouth "please don't let them... He's not the winter soldier anymore...it wasn't him that done all those terrible things or that bombing...they brainwashed him.."

"shh...its OK" soothed Steve, he took her head in his hands and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks "I don't know what they are planning but Bucky made me promise to keep his family safe...and that's what I intend to do right now..."

"family? He called me his family?"

"yes...It was obvious while I was at your apartment at how much he cares about you both Brogan. I'm getting you out of here then I'm going to for him...let's go" he quickly ushered James in her arms "Now..."

The trio were just about to leave when all of the lights in the room went off and the cell was plunged into darkness. Within seconds alarms and sirens began to deafen them as they covered their ears. Both confused about what was going on

"CAP, its your dude..." Sam panted running into the cell "Someone's triggered him off and he's gone all Winter Soldier on everyone's ass...he's already killed 5 guards and that number is growing...buildings being evacuated NOW. They're gonna shoot him on sight...he's gone insane"

"Oh my God, no...Bucky" screamed Brogan turning to Steve "Don't let them do this...I'm begging you.." she sobbed "Don't let them kill him..."

"I gave you my word remember. I don't know how but I wont let them kill him I promise.." replied Steve "Sam...take her and the boy...get them somewhere safe... Leave Bucky to me"

They hadn't even made it out the door when they immediately ambushed by the winter soldier. Bucky hit Steve with such a devastating force that it knocked him flying into a wall, crashing hard. Sam ran at him with deadly kicks and punches but Bucky blocked each and every one of them with ease. Sam hit the floor hard but screamed at Brogan to get to safety. Panicking now, Brogan quickly grabbed her son's hand and raced down the hall. Watching him take down person after person amongst the carnage he'd created. Leaving a devastating trail of destruction. Brogan watched stunned...This wasn't her Bucky...

"mummy mummy, why is Bucky doing this?" sobbed James, struggling to take it in as he saw his hero throw a female agent through a table "stop Bucky...stop..." he called out innocently "is this because of the bad men?"

"yes baby, This isn't our Bucky...the bad men did this to him. Whatever you see him doing now, I need you to understand that this isn't the Bucky who took you to the park...this isn't the Bucky who tucks you in bed at night...our Bucky is still there somewhere James I promise. Don't be scared of him ok...Bucky is our family and we will be there for him regardless ok? You understand me baby?" cried Brogan, kneeling down and grasping his shoulders as the boy nodded at her words "but I need you to run OK...go and hi..."

Unable to finish her sentence, Brogan soon felt someone grab her by the neck and yank her head dangerously backwards. The young woman cried out in pain through her tears to whoever had hold of her like this. In her heart she knew it could of only been one person holding her in such a tight vice like grip. With her eyes, pressed shut she secretly didn't want to see if her gut feeling would be proved real. The figure soon moved his grasp from the back of her neck to her throat, forcing her to look at him. Slowly she opened her eyes and instantly her heart broke...the winter soldier had found her...

"no bucky...not my mummy" sobbed James running at Bucky's leg and aiming several soft punches that barely moved the winter soldier "stop..."

With his metallic hand gripped on Brogan's throat, he pushed James to the floor. The boy hit the ground hard and began to cry as a trickle of blood fell from his forhead. Seeing her Son injured by the man he loved so much just broke Brogan's heart even more. Trying to fight free, she kicked her legs but the strength of the winter soldier was no match for her. Gripping even tighter now, Bucky stared pretty much into her soul as the pressure on her throat increased. Slowly he lifted her off the floor as Brogan sobbed through the pain and struggle for breath

"please...Bucky...its...me" with his grip tightening it became even More even more difficult to breathe "This isn't...you" The winter soldier glared at her but seconds later something inside him at her words made him suddenly look away...distracted "you know me...Bucky...we...fell...in...love"

Her eyes were starting to feel heavier now as Brogan realised she was slipping into unconsciousness. Still he gripped at her throat, crushing her windpipe further

"No...you're in the way of my mission..." once again he glared at her, still shaking his head furiously. What was this woman doing to him? Sooner he killed her the better but why was she stalling him like this "you must die..."

"Bucky...I..." Brogan continued to struggle to speak, accepting this was the end of the line that Bucky had so often talked about during their time together "love...you"

At her final words, a memory from deep within his soul soon filled the head of the winter soldier. In the memory, He could see himself in bed, on top of a woman and was obviously making love her. He couldn't see the woman's face but she was arching her back at the overwhelming pleasure that he appeared to be giving her. He could see his metallic hand reach out to touch her soft skin before he kissed at her neck. Slowly the woman's face became clearer and as she called his name, he recognised her straight away as the near unconscious woman in his grasp. Instantly he dropped her to the floor and watched as she coughed furiously before racing over hugging her relieved child. As he watched the two embrace, he wondered what the hell just happened? What was his subconscious telling him? He apparently had some kind of connection to the woman but after seeing the fear in her eyes and in that of her son right now...maybe that was now lost..

"BROGAN...are you OK?" cried Steve, racing over to the pair of them "where'd he go?"

"he remembered me Steve...he knew who I was!" sobbed Brogan, coughing furiously and rubbing her neck "something stirred in him and stopped him killing me...please just help him...he went to the roof"


	16. Chapter 16

_**Flashback...**_

 _ **"Hey cap..." called Sam, watching as Steve headed over to join him in the pressing room in the old warehouse which had been their safe house for the past several days "Your dudes awake.."**_

 _ **Together the men had somehow managed to get Bucky away from the compound. They managed to drag the unconscious super soldier into an old warehouse that by the look of it had been deserted for years. Not knowing what state of mind he would be in when he awoke, Steve placed his metallic arm in an old machine press abandoned in the factory. If the winter soldier returned, he would be trapped. Letting out a sigh, Steve headed over and was now greeted by an awake Bucky groaning and clutching his head with his free hand in agony at the pain shooting through him**_

 _ **"Steve?"**_

 _ **"which Bucky am I talking to?"**_

 _ **"your moms name was Sarah...you used to put newspapers in your shoes" he cried laughing through the pain "you threw up when we rode the cyclone at Coney Island one time...went all over you"**_

 _ **"cant read about that in a museum"**_

 _ **"and just like that we're supposed to be all cool?" quizzed Sam**_

 _ **"What did I do?" Bucky Groaned, gazing sadly at the floor "did I kill anyone?"**_

 _ **"you did enough Buck...people are dead and someone's framing you for that Bombing...who was that Doctor?"**_

 _ **"Brogan?" almost immediately he bolted upright "please tell me I didn't kill her... Please don't tell me she's dead...I killed her didn't I? Just like my dream...she's dead right?" images of the dead cold version of Brogan from his nightmare soon filled his head "the boy? Tell me Steve...are they alright?"**_

 _ **"calm down, she's alive..." Bucky let out a huge sigh of relief at his friends words "she's safe...I gave you my word didn't I?"**_

 _ **"even after you scared the hell out of her and the kid" cried Sam, still confused why Steve was giving this guy the time of day "your girl is one tough cookie...man, no wonder she fell for a dude like you..."**_

 _ **"Did I hurt her? Please tell me I never..."**_

 _ **"she's alright now and that's all that matters Buck" Steve cried, folding his arms over his chest as he remembered seeing the marks on her neck that were left there by Bucky's hand. And the fear in her eyes when he found her "she's fine"**_

 _ **"What did I do to her?...tell me"**_

 _ **"it doesn't matter...she's OK now"**_

 _ **"IT MATTERS TO ME!" Cried Bucky, his whole world ending in front of him at the thought of him doing to Brogan what she'd spent many painful years running from "please..."**_

 _ **"You choked her out...you pushed the boy too...he hit his head..cut him bad" Said Steve, gazing sadly at the floor then back at a devastated Bucky "You would have finished her off though if something hadn't of woken you up briefly"**_

 _ **"oh god...I knew this would happen, everything that HYDRA put in my head is still there...all he had to do was say those god damn words" Broken hearted and in pain, he almost felt like crying hearing at what he'd done to her and James "I can't take this anymore Steve, Hydra have taken everything from me now. First they took my life, my mind and my god damn name" reaching forward he ran his free hand through his hair "now they've taken my future too...she's never going to want to see me again...the winter soldier is always going to be there in her mind when she looks at me now.. being with me she's never going go be free from fear.."**_

 _ **"I wouldn't be so sure Buddy.." cried Sam, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a letter. Bucky recognised the writing instantly as Brogans "Before we got her to a safe house...she told me this was for you...want me to read it?" Bucky nodded, while Steve released his metal arm from the press "warn you though... If it goes all mushy and shit...you can read it cap OK?...actually maybe you should just read it yourself man...she's your girl after all"**_

 _ **With both hands now free, Bucky thanked him and took the note. Giving him a moment, the two other men left him with his thoughts...taking a deep breath, he removed the letter from the envelope and slowly began to read...**_

 _ **"Dear Bucky,**_

 _ **First, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alright as is James. Steve set me up a safe house and I'm not going to lie but its a lot better than some of the shitty apartments I've had in the past. James loves it too. The only thing missing here though is you...I miss you so much already Bucky and its only been hours since we got here. Steve gave you his word to keep your family safe and he's done so. Nobody else knows where we are except him. He's promised me to look after you and we'll be together again one day.**_

 _ **Yes, you did hurt me but like I've always said to you. It wasn't you that done all those horrible things. It was the winter soldier that hurt my neck and not you. My Bucky would never hurt me like that. My Bucky is and will forever be my hero. You're probably worrying about James and panicking about him hating you right? See I know what you're like. But please don't. He loves you too and knows it was the bad men that made you do what you did. Even as I write this, he is still going on about that park you promised to take him too when we was in Bucharest... He's fine so believe me...**_

 _ **They say that a select few have been blessed to experience a true love in their lifetime. I never thought that I'd ever get to have the bliss of having a true love in my life. I figured I was just a lost cause but then you came into my life Bucky. You reaffirmed my faith in everything that I needed to know and it's all because of you Bucky. I love you James Buchanan Barnes and I always will. I couldn't go without telling you this. I just wish I could have said it to your face. Maybe soon I will**_

 _ **I love you**_

 _ **Brogan**_

 _ **xx**_


	17. Chapter 17

Brogan had now been living at the safe house for about a fortnight now and was finally starting to feel settled with her new surroundings. Although, Steve told her that he'd be in touch soon when things were safe. Two weeks had now past, she still hadn't heard a word and was starting to get worried. She missed Bucky so much and spent her evenings crying into her pillow, longing to be in his arms once more. James tried desperately to cheer her up and make her smile again but alas her heart was broken now, shattered into a million pieces at being apart from the man she loved more than anything in the world. It was going to take a lot more then reassuring hugs from her child to make her smile once more. She knew in her heart that she'd never meet someone like Bucky again...

"Mummy, are you OK? You don't look very well' cried James, linking her hand as the pair of them headed upstairs to get ready for bed "are you poorly?"

"mummy's fine Darling I promise..." she forced him a smile and could feel that all too familiar nausea once more in the bottom of her stomach "I've just eaten something funny baby that's all. Not agreed with me...I'll get some water once your all tucked in..mummy's fine I promise"

"mummy why did we have to leave Bucky?...I really miss him. Can't we go find him again?" Cried James, scooting further down the covers once he was tucked safely into bed "is he with Captain America?"

"I know you do darling but it's not as easy as that James" Brogan bit her lip as she could feel her eyes well with tears once more "I miss him so much too but I just guess things were not meant to be...one day he might come back...we just have to have faith"

"But he'll come back to us again soon right?" Pleaded the youngster, reaching for her hand "he…he made you happy mummy"

"He made me very happy darling…happiest I've been in a long time" she smiled, stroking her sons hair "you are too young to understand now James but one day you will" unable to hold back the tears, a sole tear fell down her cheek "you may care deeply for someone more than anything but sometimes even that isn't enough to keep you together…"

" but…he loves you…I know it"

"He does darling boy...I know it too" she quickly wiped her eye with her sleeve and forced out a smile "I love him more than anything...but sometimes that isn't enough...now get some sleep... Sweet dreams my precious boy"

"Ok Mummy…love you…"

"Love you more baby. Sleep well..."

James gave his mother one last hug and quickly tucked his teddy under her arm. With now Brogan gone, James raced to a drawer and pulled out a photograph. It was an image of Bucky, his mother and James from their time in Bucharest. It was one of his favourite pictures of the family All together. He pressed the picture to his chest before placing it on his pillow next to him. A warm loving smile filled his face but he failed to see Brogan watching from the doorframe

"goodnight Bucky wherever you are...hope the bad men haven't found you" the little boy smiled "please don't forget me or mummy…"

Creeping back downstairs, Brogan headed to the bathroom to throw up once more. She indeed wasn't well at the moment but deep down she knew the real reason for her sickness. It wasn't down to dodgy food from the local takeaway that was for sure. Thankfully she picked up a little something up from the store earlier in the day so hopefully that would confirm her arousing suspicions at her illness. Sitting on the toilet, she gazed up at the clock on the wall. A minute had passed now. It was now or never...

"here goes nothing..."

Reaching forward, she took the tiny plastic stick in her shaking hand. Counting to 3, she panted heavily and turned it over so she could see the result. Letting out a sigh, a tiny blue plus sign now staring up at her. This was the final confirmation she needed for her recent sickness bout. she was pregnant, pregnant with Bucky's child and with no way of breaking the news to him. Could things get any more worse right now?

Clutching at her stomach, she was soon bought out of her thoughts by a sudden knock at the door. Racing down stairs, she was overjoyed to see it Steve. Without thinking, she hurled herself at him and clung onto his neck. If he was here, Bucky had to be too right?. But alas he alone. Instantly Brogan thought the worst. Every scenario going. Ranging from his death to him finishing with her and being with someone else...

"Good to see you again Brogan" he smiled "and before you ask...he's fine...I've got a lot to tell you so maybe we should take this inside..."

Slightly confused, the pair headed to the lounge. Steve took a deep breath and filled her in all about what had happened since they were all at the compound. Brogan sat relieved and overjoyed that it had finally come out that Bucky had been framed for the UN embassy bombing by that evil fake Doctor who bluffed his way to get to Bucky back at the compound. The same one who said those trigger words, causing him to switch to becoming the winter soldier once more

"So where is he?" She cried, desperately hoping he'd tell her he was here. She just longed to be in his arms once more and feel his touch once again "please tell me he's here..."

"I'm sorry Brogan but he isn't im afraid" he sighed, reaching for her hand squeezing it reassuringly "He's in a place called Wakanda. They have offered him sanctuary...and have taken him in for the time being"

"so he's still being punished for the whole winter soldier thing then?" Brogan cried holding her head in her hands "Hes never going to be free is he?...when are people going to realise it wasn't him that done all those bad things?"

"its not like that Brogan...They want to help him...trust me on this" smiled Steve reassuringly "They have technology far more superior than our own and believe that they can remove all that hydra put in his mind permanently" Brogan sat stunned at this news "you yourself told me that aspects of his former self were still there...they just want to bring it back fully...that's something we both want right?"

"how long will it take for them to fix him?" said Brogan, clasping her hands over her stomach "will he have to be frozen again like they did to him before?...he won't be under for long will he?"

"im afraid I can't tell you exactly how long Brogan...why you ask?"

"because..." she swallowed hard and reached for his hand "because I'm Pregnant Steve, I just found out right before you got here... Looks like you're going be an uncle..." she laughed "should I tell him?"

"I can't make that decision for you Brogan, only you can do that" Said Steve, handing her a recent photo of Bucky. Brogan couldn't help but gasp as in the picture, his metallic arm was gone "under any other circumstances I'd of said that he had a right to know he was going to be a father but you know how important getting HYDRA out of his head is" Seeing his face again unlocked so many raw emotions within Brogan "but if you want him to know then do it...congratulations by the way"

"Oh I wish. I could see him one last time...just tell him how much I miss him..and how much I love him..."

"why do you think I'm here..." smiled Steve, giving her a hug "He's going under in 2 days... I came here to get you..."

"really?!"

"yes...let's go...now"


	18. Chapter 18

After a long journey, Steve found himself back in Wakanda but this time with Brogan and James at his side. He couldn't thank King T'challa enough for offering to take Bucky in like this. He would be indebted to him now eternally for doing this for his friend. Today was the day that Bucky was due to go under into cryogenic sleep so they could try and clear his mind of the hydra programming and freeing him from the winter soldier once and for all. Nobody had forced him to go under, it was solely his choice. Hydra had cost him everything now and he was more than determined than ever to be finally free from them. After telling Brogan to wait outside, Steve entered the lab and headed in to talk to Bucky. Watching the two men talk, a warm smile filled her face at seeing her love once more...

"so you still sure about this?"

"I can't trust my own mind.. " cried Bucky with a nervous laugh turning to his friend "until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, going back under is the best thing" he gazed over at the cryogenic sleeping pod that would be his home for whoever knew how long "for everybody...especially for Brogan...I saw the fear in her eyes that day" feeling his heart break at further being apart from the woman he loved and the guilt that he'd hurt her "she was the only thing through all this that I was sure of...I felt alive with her but I can't be free with all this stuff still in my head...its for Brogan that I'm doing this...I need to be able to be the man she wants again...not the winter soldier... I need to be the man she fell in love with when we first met at the Smithsonian"

"she told me all about that" smiled Steve sitting on the bench next to him "you fell for her literally right? Knocked her on her head..." Steve reached for his shoulder "she cares so much about you Bucky...I gave you my word I'll keep her safe and I want you to know that I always will..."

"Thank you..." turned Bucky, knowing it was soon time to go under "my family is safe because of you..."

"I have something for you...something you might want to look at before you go under...be right back"

More confused than ever, Bucky turned to the technicians in the lab but even they couldn't give him an answer about what his friend was up to. Moments later, Steve returned to the lab. Giving Bucky one last smile, he stepped to one side and there clutching James's hand... stood Brogan. Tears of happiness were now streaming down her face now as she edged closer. Bucky sat in a state of shock at seeing his love here once again. He beamed overjoyed at seeing James furiously waving at him next to her. Last time he saw her now was several weeks ago back in Bucharest, after sending him to the market for supplies. For him, she looked just as beautiful as he remembered and how she kissed him goodbye that morning was still firmly etched in his thoughts. Reaching forward, Brogan reached for his face and stroked his cheek with the tips of her finger. Slowly, Bucky turned his head and kissed her hand. Still smiling, she reached up and tucked the long wavy locks of his hair behind his ear. Closing his eyes, he was already in heaven at the sheer gentleness of her touch. He'd missed her so much now. Finally looking down he could see that she was wearing a red silk scarf around her neck. Reaching up, he pulled it down slightly and gasped in horror and the mark of a hand still etched on her throat...

"That was from me wasn't it?" saying nothing Brogan gazed sadly at the floor, giving him the answer in his heart he already knew "im so sorry I hurt you like that...I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through...I saw the fear in your eyes that day Brogan...I said I'd protect you always but I failed...I didn't realise it was me that you needed protecting from...I knew I'd never be worthy of the love you showed me"

Hearing enough, Brogan tilted her head forward and kissed him passionately. Reaching forward, she grasped his head and pulled him even closer. There was a deep urgent need as she merged her mouth with his and instantly he began kissing her back. Slipping his free hand round her waist and pulling her closer to his lap. Steve couldn't help but grin and turned away, catching the eye of shuri and her technicians who like him were grinning at the sight in front of them. When the kiss was over, Brogan pressed her forehead to his and ran her trembling hand through his hair once more

"You never need to apologise to me Bucky...It wasn't you that did this...all that matters now is you getting better" she smiled, cupping his cheek "It was James Buchanan Barnes that I fell in love with...regardless of how long it takes... " reaching for his hand, she entwined it with hers and pressed it to her stomach. Only Steve knew the reason for this action and smiled "we will wait for you...You're part of my life now Bucky and I'm with you till the end of the line right..and we trust me.. We haven't reached there yet for sure...I love you..."

"I love you too..." cried Bucky, holding back the tears of his broken heart as the realisation of being parted from her began to hit him "look after your mother James... She's gonna need you more than ever now till I get back"

"sweet dreams Bucky... I'll miss you" waved James

Entering the pod, Bucky looked over at Brogan right until the very last minute. Slowly, his eyes closed and within secondsthe pod soon became frozen...the process complete... All Brogan and Steve could do was wait...

"you didn't tell him about the baby?" Whispered Steve softly, joining her next to the pod "what made you keep it from him?"

"like you said.. The main priority is him getting better and getting all that stuff out of his head" she smiled, feeling him slip his hand round her back "As much as its breaking my heart right now Steve, that comes first. Before me and this baby... I'm not going anywhere though...we've not reached the end of the line yet..."

"he was right about you Brogan..." Brogan gently rested her head on his shoulder and smiled "you really are special and Bucky is lucky to have you be part of his life..."

"I am sorry to interrupt but I must ask you to leave now" cried T'challa breaking up the scene "Sgt Barnes has a very long road ahead of him. Even after we break the programming it may still take time for him to recover..." Brogan forced out a smile and nodded "I give you my word my Lady that my sister and her team will do all we can fix him...I promise" he placed his hand round her waist and the three left the lab. Taking one look back, Brogan could instantly see Shuri and her team working away "I give you my word as king that as soon as he is awake... My guards will come for you..."

"Thank you for doing this for him and I'm eternally grateful to you all" cried Brogan "But...but I can't leave him...I'm carrying his child now and that makes us a family" she gazed down at her stomach, happy knowing that part of Bucky was still with her "and you for one should know the importance of family right?...please let me stay...I beg you"

"very well..." replied T'challa with a smile "I will make sure you have a room near my sisters lab so you can be close to him" they soon began to walk further down the long corridor back to the main part of the palace "I warn you Miss, that it isn't going to be easy... If you are to stay here in Wakanda then you must not have any contact with him throughout his rehabilitation... Even if we break the programming he will still need rest and rehabilitation..he must not know that you are here as there is still a small chance his mind may fail and reject all my sisters work on him"

"are you sure about this Brogan?" Cried Steve, reaching for her shoulder "I know you care a lot of him but that's a big ask...being in the same country but have no contact?"

"I'm positive Steve... " said Brogan "We are a family now and families stick together through everything...I'm going nowhere...till the end of the line remember?.."

"well, you have made your choice then good Lady" smiled T'challa "then I just only have one more thing to say. ...welcome to Wakanda"


	19. Chapter 19

_**Two years later...Wakanda..**_

The warm sun slowly started to rise now as a small group of children giggling, raced into the hut of the man they had affectionately nicked named "white wolf". The children had named him this, mainly due to his long wavy straggly hair, bushy dark beard and overall bedraggled appearance. This had become a daily ritual for the youngsters now and today was like no other. Sometimes the man would just ignore them and still pretend to be sleeping but other times he'd make them jump. Causing fits of even more giggles amongst the youngsters

"Is he sleeping still?" cried a girl "he can't be still tired...I mean...He's the white wolf.."

"that's what wolves do silly" continued a boy, poking the sleeping man with a stick "they sleep all day...then stay up all night"

"then why is he still sleeping now?" said the girl "wake up white wolf. We want to play"

"who says I'm sleeping... " answered the man. Immediately the children fled the hut in a fit of laughter, shouting white wolf continuously on the way out as they soon ran into shuri outside "They will never learn..." laughed Bucky getting to his feet

The past two years had made such a difference to Bucky now. Shuri and her team had successfully managed to remove all his HYDRA programming quicker than expected much to his relief. With things still a little hazy and with the former memories slowly starting to return in little bits, a decision had been made to remove him from stasis and into one of the huts in the grounds near the palace. To help with his recovery,he even began helping out with some of the locals on their farms. It was a simple life but Bucky was at last happy. Shuri was also assigned to keep an eye on him and note the changes in His behaviour. Bucky was overjoyed at feeling like his old self again and at the memories that were starting to come back to him. He knew when his birthday was now, he knew what his parents names were and even that he had a younger sister called "Rebecca". For him it felt so good knowing who was again. Not all his memories had fully returned yet but shuri told him over and over that they would but it would just take time...he just had to patient

"good morning Sgt Barnes.." smiled Shuri warmly as she watched him emerge from the hut. She had become a close friend these past two years to Bucky and he owed her and her team everything "how are you feeling?"

"good..." he smiled, knowing he'd be forever in her debt now that she had made him feel human again "Thank you..."

"come...there is much for you to learn..."

Taking one last look at the beautiful surroundings that had been his home for the past 2 years, he quickly followed her back on the winding road back to the palace. After changing his clothes, he and shuri headed to the throne room. Immediately he could see king T'challa beckoning him over

"Ah Sgt Barnes, my sister tells me she is pleased with your recovery so far and that the process is pretty much complete" he cried reaching for Bucky's hand and shaking it tight "how do you feel?"

"great... I can't thank you and your people enough for taking care of me like this" he bowed his head "I never thought I was worthy of any of the support and care like the people of Wakanda have shown me so I am grateful to you all"

"you and my father were victims in hydras games Sgt Barnes and this is the least we could do to put things right..." The two men began to exit the throne room and walk slowly along the corridor "we have one more test for you down in the lab...shuri is waiting for you"

"ah Sgt Barnes.." Cried Shuri racing to join him and her brother at the centre of her lab. Although he kept telling her to call him Bucky after everything she'd done for him, she still insisted in calling him Sgt Barnes "There's someone here I want you to meet...she has been waiting a very long time to see you Sgt Barnes... If you pass this test then I your rehabilitation is complete"

Slightly confused by what she was going on about, Bucky took a step back and watched as Shuri ushered in a young woman who came to a stop directly in front of him as he sat on the chair in the lab. Bucky studied the woman hard and thought she had the most beautiful green eyes that he had ever seen. Indeed the woman was very beautiful, her long hair fell over her shoulders and she wore a white flowing dress that showed off every inch of her curves

"Bucky?...its so good to see you again and awake..." the woman immediately burst into tears "you look amazing... " reaching forward she went to for his face but stopped quickly pulling her hand away. remembering shuri's words that he may not remember her straight away and that of their past together "I know that you probably don't know who I am right now but I just had to see you...I hope that soon you will and we can remember what we shared...together" This time she reached forward for his face and gently caressed his heavily bearded cheek "I guess you're not ready to remember...so I'll just leave you t..."

Cutting her off, Bucky got to his feet and wrapped his arm round her waist. Staring into those beautiful crystal green eyes once more. He edged forward, kissed the woman hard and merging their lips as one. Passion immediately erupted between them both as desire and lust filled the air. The kiss was full of want as they explored each others bodies hungrily, not caring about the giggling crew of Shuri's lab team behind them. Once the kiss was over, they pressed their heads together before Bucky dropped his Head to her chest. Allowing her to gently stroke the long locks of his hair soothingly...he'd missed the sheer gentleness of her touches

"I never forgot you Brogan..." he whispered looking at her "you was in my thoughts and dreams the entire time I was under...like I told you before... the only thing that I was ever sure of in my life...was you..."

"That's true," laughed Shuri to one of her team "I've been recording his dreams while he was under and oh my goodness me.." she fanned herself with her hand jokingly "very hot indeed white wolf..."

Hugging her close, Bucky watched as suddenly two children entered the lab just behind them. The boy, he immediately recognised as James and his heart immediately swelled with love at seeing the boy again.. James was now just turned 6 and apart from a slight growth spurt he was just as Bucky remembered previously. Linking onto James hand though was a little girl who couldn't have been more than 2 years of age. The little girl was practically a mini version of Brogan with the same wavy hair and identical smile but it was her eyes that caught his attention the most. They were identical to his own. Seeing the man look at her, the toddler suddenly got all shy and reached over for Brogan. Picking her up, she placed her on her hip and smiled at the growing confused man

"its OK Bucky..." sensing his anxiety she reached for his arm. Calming him down, just the same as she always did when they were on the run together "This is Rebecca...your daughter.."


	20. Chapter 20

**_Wakanda flashback..._**

 ** _Lying in her the grand bed of her chambers, Brogan felt a huge range of different emotions flowing through her body right now. Still exhausted from the birth, she looked over at the tiny bundle wrapped up in a Moses basket next to her and smiled. Love overwhelmed her as she gazed over adoringly at her precious bundle beside her but there was a deep hint of sadness also. Sadness that the little girl might never know her father or that he'd be able to see her grow up. This was made all the worse for the fact, he was literally downstairs in the lab on the lower level of palace. She was still allowed to see Bucky when he in stasis but when he had been awoken temporarily to check on his progress, she was ushered to another part of the castle..._**

 ** _Slowly, she got to her feet, edged her way to the basket and picked up the sleeping child safely in her arms. The tiny baby stirred slightly but curled back to sleep almost immediately in the crux of her mothers arm_**

 ** _"Think its time for you to meet Daddy..."_**

 ** _Creeping down the corridor she managed to open the door of Shuri's lab. With it being so late, the lab was now deserted all bar a sleeping member of the tech crew who'd crashed out at his work station. Edging closer, Brogan was now at the pod that had Bucky encased within. Gazing up at him, a warm smile filled her face as for her he looked just as perfect as the last time she'd seen him. She still felt so bad that she didn't tell him about the baby before he went under. All the way through her pregnancy she literally would spend the evenings sitting at the foot of the pod, constantly apologising for not telling him about their child. She knew that he wouldn't hear her or respond but at least it gave her some comfort opening her heart to him..._**

 ** _"I had a feeling, you'd be down here..." came a voice from behind Brogan. Instantly she recognised the voice and smiled "how you bearing up Brogan?"_**

 ** _"well considering I've given birth to the child of a nearly 100 year old super soldier, not to bad" she laughed, gazing back up Bucky still sleeping nearby "I felt it was time he saw her Steve...did I do the right thing not telling him? Will he hate me when he finally does wake up?"_**

 ** _"you did the right thing Brogan trust me...he'll understand...with all that Hydra stuff permanently out of his head, only then he could concentrate on fatherhood" reassuringly he wrapped his arm around her back "talking of which...where's my new little niece then?"_**

 ** _Steve had been her rock throughout the pregnancy. He'd made regular visits to her in Wakanda and was one of the first people to see the Baby after being born. From that very first moment she was born, Steve made a vow to be their for the baby and watch over her as her unofficial surrogate uncle until Bucky awoke from his cryo sleep_**

 ** _"She really does look like him Brogan. She's got his eyes" he smiled, holding the child in his arms. Just as before, the baby stirred but remained asleep "so you thought of a name yet?"_**

 ** _"I have actually" smiled Brogan, stroking the sleeping child's face gently "Rebecca...Rebecca Alice Barnes...you told me that was his sisters name too and...please don't laugh at my thinking behind this ok?" she suddenly turned a deep shade of crimson, leaving him even more curious "I might not have Bucky in my life right now but Becky is here...only 1 letter difference right? Oh my god I'm so pathetic..."_**

 ** _"Don't be silly, he would think it was cute for sure. Just like I do" he smiled, handing the baby back to her mother "well Rebecca...its been great to see you again... Take care Becky Barnes, your uncle Steve will see you soon" he grinned, kissing the child on the head "I gotta go but I'll be back as soon as I can...go get some sleep Brogan...Becky is going need you now more than ever" before leaving he lent forward and kissed her cheek "bye Brogan...look after yourself"_**


	21. Chapter 21

Bucky's jaw literally fell to the floor right now as he caught sight of the miniature version of himself looking back at him. The girl not only had his same piercing blue eyes like he had but she also had a similar smile. Struggling to deal with the fact he was now a father, he reached out for a nearby table in a desperate bid to steady his feet as the shock overwhelmed him..

"I told them you'd freak out but they told me you needed to know" sighed Brogan "im sorry I didn't tell you Bucky...forgive me..." slightly panicking she placed the girl on the floor and reached for his arm "everything's fine Bucky...its going to be alright I promise"

Taking a deep breath, he turned to look at the little girl and smiled. She was just as beautiful as her mother. He couldn't get his head around how someone as broken as him could create something so perfect as this beautiful little girl standing in front of him

"is she OK?" He cried, turning to Brogan "nothings wrong with her or anything right? I I mean because of what I am?...what Hydra did..those experiments"

"she's fine Bucky" assured Brogan, cupping his face "she's your normal everyday two year old...her tantrums can be a bit extreme but that's about it...she turns into her own winter soldier at times.." she laughed "she's was so happy when they told us we could see you...its all she's been going on about all week...right Becky?"

"Papa...wake up now Mama" cried the little girl beaming up at Bucky "papa been sleeping...can we go play now Papa?"

Taking a deep breath and still stunned, Bucky dropped to his knees at the girls feet. Slowly he reached forward to gently stroked her curls and touch her face. Before he could say another word, Rebecca quickly wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and hugged him close. For the briefest of moments, Bucky didn't know what to do and looked nervously over at Brogan for guidance as his anxiety rose once more. This was all new to him now and instantly could feel his chest feel heavy at this sudden closeness from the youngster...His new daughter. After a reassuring look from Brogan, his body soon relaxed and he wrapped his arm round his little girl pulling her even closer. Nothing in the world could come close to his happy he was feeling right now, holding his girl in his arm like this. Everything had changed now... He was a father

"papa...I made a wish that you would wake up" said Rebecca, finally freeing himself from the lock she had on on father "so happy Mama"

"Rebecca..." cried Bucky, tucking a lock of the toddlers hair behind her ear "Sorry for not being here sooner...I wish I could make it up to you somehow " There was that oh too familiar guilt again hitting him hard at missing all those key early moments of her life "I hope you can forgive me..."

"you are here now though" Brogan cried, reaching for his arm and helping him to his feet "and that's all that matters Bucky...right Rebecca?"

Getting to his feet, Bucky slipped his arm round Brogan's waist. once again the youngster hurled herself at her fathers leg in a deep crushing hug and nodded furiously

"I hate the fact that I wasn't with you when she was born Brogan..." he sighed sadly, gazing solemnly at the floor "I hate the fact that all those early moments in her life that I've missed, I'll never get back" Brogan reached over and touched his shoulder reassuringly "im so sorry...you shouldn't have gone through all this in your own. I should have been there"

"now listen to me...I haven't been on my own. Everyone here has been amazing and Steve's been visiting when he can too" she cried, clutching his head in her hands to meet his heartbroken gaze " As soon as I found out I was pregnant Bucky, I wanted her to know who her father was. In the womb I used to talk about you constantly to her. Steve would also tell her stories of all that you got up to as kids and growing up" she smiled, gently stroking the stubble of his cheek "she knows you're her Papa Bucky because ever since she's been old enough to understand I've told her about you.. I've been bringing her to see you here every day since she was born...you may not have physically been with us Bucky but I've kept your memory alive for her...for all of us. You are here now and that's all that matters. I just told her you were sleeping because of a curse just like sleeping beauty...so technically I told her the truth"

"really?"

"yes, plus Steve gave us a load of pictures of you from the war. I've saved it in what she calls her Papa book. Every night before bed we look at the Papa book" continued Brogan warmly "she's never forgotten you Bucky and I'll never let her..."

"I thought your love was the greatest thing that ever happened to me but now we have her.." he smiled, reaching up to wipe her glistening tears on her ivory cheek "thank you"

"it wasn't just me..." she laughed, reaching out for his thigh "it was a joint effort...and what an effort it was...I'll never forget those nights Bucky.." Blushing furiously all those times they were intimate together "just perfect.."

"Yep..not bad for a 90 year old man right?." Proudly Bucky grinned "but now as I'm awake just think what the next time would be like...I have a lot of catching up to do ..."

"ill hold you to that later... Literally" she smirked, stroking his thigh. Knowing exactly they were both thinking the same thing. Getting herself together and snapping out of her naughty plans for him later, she quickly turned to her daughter "Becky why don't you go get the book we made for Daddy for when we was allowed to see him?"

The toddler instantly ran over to shuri who handed her a scrapbook from a nearby draw. Saying thank you, she took the book and handed it to Bucky. Turning each page, Bucky instantly felt a lump in his throat as he struggled to deal with seeing so many images of his little girl and all those heart-breaking moments he'd missed. The book started right from the moment Brogan found out she was pregnant with pictures of her first scan that she asked Shuri to take using her technology. Another was of Brogan, James and Steve holding baby Rebecca at Bucky's pod for her daughter's first birthday. There was image after to image of his smiling daughter at play at the grounds of the palace. Unable to hold it together, Bucky sobbed, running his thumb over that first image of his daughter on the grainy sonogram. He hated himself even more now for missing out on so much of Rebecca's life. Wiping his eye with his arm, he turned the page, with the next images coming from a baby shower shuri had thrown at the palace. The grand hall was filled with holographic pink balloons and pink banners covered the walls announcing the impending arrival would be a girl. He did have to laugh at one picture of Brogan holding a baby's vest over her growing belly. She had a surprised look on her face as she pointed to the words "my papa is with me till the end of the line" that had been printed on front. Running a trembling hand through His hair, he continued going through the book, pausing to look at each and every image. He loved that it started at Rebecca's birth, ending with the last images of her from couple of weeks ago. It was also very much plain to see that the youngster was indeed turning into a miniature version of her father. Both sharing the exact same smile and blue glistening piercing blue eyes

"Papa up..." cried Rebecca, tugging at his leg. Giving her a smile, he picked her up, bringing her to his hip. within seconds she rest her head on his shoulder while draping her hands round his neck. Gently she reached over to where his metallic arm once was and stroked the stump with her fingertips "love you papa...glad you awake now"

"love you too Becky..." Bucky turned to Brogan and kissed her softly "And so am I..."

"I told you we'd wait for you" cried Brogan "till the end of the line remember..."

Taking her hand in his with Becky still on his hip, Bucky led his newly reunited family out of the lab and back to the hallway, passing the huge windows looking out onto Wakanda. Neither he or Brogan knew just what the future may hold for them all here now but they at long last they were finally together..free from the past and ready to look to the future...as a family. Nothing in this world can shatter the true bond of family. Whatever challenges they would face here on Wakanda, they would tackle them together. As Nothing is more stronger than the bond of love within a family...something Bucky finally had accepted he was worthy of...

THE END


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